| The person who first coined the phrase "flying the | | | | unless you need it for its intended use. |
| friendly skies" was obviously not traveling with young | | | | Toddler Air Travel Tips #2: Do not let your toddler out |
| children. If at some point in the future you will be finding | | | | of his seat when the fasten seat belt lights turns off. |
| yourself on a cramped airplane with a rambunctious | | | | I don't have to tell you that toddlers have a difficult time |
| toddler (or two), first of all let me offer my | | | | sitting still for two minutes, let alone two hours. Their |
| condolences. As the mother of two boys and a | | | | little legs were built for running, kicking and jumping. |
| veteran of the so-called friendly skies, I have been in | | | | With that in mind, prepare yourself for the fact that |
| your shoes more than once. | | | | your toddler is going to whine, and squirm, and |
| Yes, I know - you don't need my sympathy, or my | | | | complain, and squirm some more. However, no matter |
| empathy, or my condolences. You need help! So, for | | | | how much he squirms and complains, do not unfasten |
| what it is worth, here are my words of experience | | | | his seat belt. If you do, be prepared to regret your |
| (errr, I mean wisdom) on how to survive your next trip: | | | | decision. Why? Well, freed from the constraints of the |
| Toddler Air Travel Tips #1: Do not use the white paper | | | | seat belt, he will wrestle past you into the aisle, and |
| bag in the seat pocket in front of you as a paper | | | | then his inner instinct to run will take over. You can only |
| airplane! | | | | imagine the rest of the fiasco that will take place. |
| It does not matter that you spent a small fortune | | | | My advice - do not unbuckle your child's seat belt for |
| loading your Vera Bradley carry-on luggage with | | | | any reason. Better yet, bring his car seat with you on |
| goodies aimed at keeping your two-year old | | | | the plane, and strap him in good! |
| entertained for hours. There is an unwritten rule that | | | | Toddler Air Travel Tips #3: Never make eye contact |
| dictates that your toddler will get bored within the first | | | | with the other adult passengers. |
| fifteen minutes of departure. | | | | Unfortunately, the majority of your co-passengers will |
| That white paper bag in the seat pocket in front of | | | | not be sympathetic to your situation. There is |
| you will begin to beckon to you, with the promise that if | | | | something about flying, perhaps it's the cramped |
| you transform it into a paper airplane or an origami | | | | conditions, the high altitude, or the recycled air, that |
| sculpture, that the tiny passenger sitting beside you will | | | | makes them forget that they were once children, or |
| be well-behaved for the next two hours of your trip. | | | | had children, or that the world would end if it were not |
| Stop - don't do it! Trust me, as soon as you dismantle | | | | for children. To them, you are the enemy. |
| the bag, your toddler will upchuck everything he ate for | | | | My advice - you should avoid making eye contact with |
| breakfast. And guess where that spew of | | | | the other adult passengers on the plane. Spare |
| regurgitated food bits will be directed. Yes, that's right - | | | | yourself the stares and glares, because what you do |
| you will be the unwilling recipient! Your pants, your | | | | not know will not hurt you. You have enough on your |
| shoes, yes, even your brand new Vera Bradley | | | | plate, without adding a big side helping of guilt. |
| luggage, will be covered in the once-digested remains | | | | Finally, keep your expectations realistic. You will survive |
| of his breakfast. | | | | this journey. Perhaps, you will even have your own |
| My advice - as soon as you board the plane, locate | | | | travel tips and words of wisdom to impart when it's |
| the paper bag and place it where you can grab it | | | | over! |
| within a moment's notice. And do not touch it again, | | | | |