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A Summer Night In Maine

Sometimes, on a beautiful warm night likealso love Maine. The people are wicked nice.
tonight in Maine, I sit here listening to theThe foothills of the mountains, where we
crickets, smelling the lilacs and the balsam,live, are beautiful. If we had stayed in
and looking out over the field, which issouthern New England, we never would have
still lit by the last remnants of our longbeen able to afford the amount of land we
twilight, remembering summers past andhave here. (Of course, thanks to Maine's tax
winters yet to come and thinking of all thesystem, we can't really afford the land we
many things that make up our Maine life and Ihave here anymore either, but we could afford
wonder to myself, "How the hell can I get outit when we bought it, until our taxes doubled
of  this  hellhole  before  next  January?"in  three  years.  I  hate  Maine.)
I hate Maine. I'm basically here because weIf we ever hit Powerball or I sell a book
were looking for a place to live in VT or NH,(which would be more likely if I'd write one)
took a wrong turn in Brattleboro, went northwe would be out of here so fast, that we'd
and decided that we'd explore Rt2, followedleave contrails. I don't know where we'd go
it to Rumford, where the air didn't smellbut it'd be warmer in the winter, have fewer
like paper mill only because it was Sundaybugs, less wind, less snow, fewer carcinogens
and the geek found a job listing in thein the air and less mercury in the water,
Bangor newspaper that some fool had left in afewer Republican congress critters and more
restaurant booth. Off we flew, likecommunity for secular unschoolers. Of course,
snowflakes  on  the  west  wind.the only drawback would be that we'd have to
leave some good friends, good neighbors and
He started with phones at a phone companygood memories of the happy times we've had
that was so small that the owner's wife, whohere  in  Maine.
knew nothing about phone systems, helped out
while breastfeeding an infant and toiletWell, maybe we'd come back for a couple of
training a toddler with a little portablemonths in the summer, but we're definitely
potty that she brought with her. Talk aboutnot spending any more than July and August
multi-tasking. Didn't phaze the geek though.here. Of course, fall IS the best time of the
He just kept his head down and made sure hisyear in Maine, after the bugs die and the
butt set didn't hit her in the anywhere.summer complaints have all gone back to
(Butt sets are those big phone handsets thatBoston or wherever they came from and before
phone guys have hanging from their belts.the hunters arrive to shoot at our horses and
Well,  what  did  you  think  they  were?)Black Labs and anything else that has four
legs. (This is the only reason we take in the
That job lasted long enough for the geek tolawn  furniture  in  late  October.)
get enough experience and training to apply
for a state job, which he's had ever since.If we don't hit Powerball, we'll have to wait
While he was learning the ropes - or I guessto leave until Geekdaddy retires. However,
I should say the wires - of the phone anddue to our late start at parenthood, we'll
computer biz, we were also training to bestill have a teenager who will probably yowl
foster parents, something we did for 11her head off if we tell her we're moving away
years. Fifteen kids passed through our homefrom her friends, so we may have to wait a
and three stayed through adoption. It's onefew years until she's launched. But right
of the reasons I love Maine. Maine gave usafter that, no question about it, we're outta
our  kids.here. I just can't see living in a place I
hate, even if I do love it.
Okay, I know I said I hate Maine. I do. But I



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