| Sometimes, on a beautiful warm night like tonight in | | | | Maine. The people are wicked nice. The foothills of the |
| Maine, I sit here listening to the crickets, smelling the | | | | mountains, where we live, are beautiful. If we had |
| lilacs and the balsam, and looking out over the field, | | | | stayed in southern New England, we never would |
| which is still lit by the last remnants of our long twilight, | | | | have been able to afford the amount of land we have |
| remembering summers past and winters yet to come | | | | here. (Of course, thanks to Maine's tax system, we |
| and thinking of all the many things that make up our | | | | can't really afford the land we have here anymore |
| Maine life and I wonder to myself, "How the hell can I | | | | either, but we could afford it when we bought it, until |
| get out of this hellhole before next January?" | | | | our taxes doubled in three years. I hate Maine.) |
| I hate Maine. I'm basically here because we were | | | | If we ever hit Powerball or I sell a book (which would |
| looking for a place to live in VT or NH, took a wrong | | | | be more likely if I'd write one) we would be out of here |
| turn in Brattleboro, went north and decided that we'd | | | | so fast, that we'd leave contrails. I don't know where |
| explore Rt2, followed it to Rumford, where the air didn't | | | | we'd go but it'd be warmer in the winter, have fewer |
| smell like paper mill only because it was Sunday and | | | | bugs, less wind, less snow, fewer carcinogens in the air |
| the geek found a job listing in the Bangor newspaper | | | | and less mercury in the water, fewer Republican |
| that some fool had left in a restaurant booth. Off we | | | | congress critters and more community for secular |
| flew, like snowflakes on the west wind. | | | | unschoolers. Of course, the only drawback would be |
| He started with phones at a phone company that was | | | | that we'd have to leave some good friends, good |
| so small that the owner's wife, who knew nothing | | | | neighbors and good memories of the happy times |
| about phone systems, helped out while breastfeeding | | | | we've had here in Maine. |
| an infant and toilet training a toddler with a little portable | | | | Well, maybe we'd come back for a couple of months |
| potty that she brought with her. Talk about | | | | in the summer, but we're definitely not spending any |
| multi-tasking. Didn't phaze the geek though. He just | | | | more than July and August here. Of course, fall IS the |
| kept his head down and made sure his butt set didn't | | | | best time of the year in Maine, after the bugs die and |
| hit her in the anywhere. (Butt sets are those big phone | | | | the summer complaints have all gone back to Boston |
| handsets that phone guys have hanging from their | | | | or wherever they came from and before the hunters |
| belts. Well, what did you think they were?) | | | | arrive to shoot at our horses and Black Labs and |
| That job lasted long enough for the geek to get | | | | anything else that has four legs. (This is the only |
| enough experience and training to apply for a state | | | | reason we take in the lawn furniture in late October.) |
| job, which he's had ever since. While he was learning | | | | If we don't hit Powerball, we'll have to wait to leave |
| the ropes - or I guess I should say the wires - of the | | | | until Geekdaddy retires. However, due to our late start |
| phone and computer biz, we were also training to be | | | | at parenthood, we'll still have a teenager who will |
| foster parents, something we did for 11 years. Fifteen | | | | probably yowl her head off if we tell her we're moving |
| kids passed through our home and three stayed | | | | away from her friends, so we may have to wait a |
| through adoption. It's one of the reasons I love Maine. | | | | few years until she's launched. But right after that, no |
| Maine gave us our kids. | | | | question about it, we're outta here. I just can't see living |
| Okay, I know I said I hate Maine. I do. But I also love | | | | in a place I hate, even if I do love it. |