| Sometimes, on a beautiful warm night like | | | | also love Maine. The people are wicked nice. |
| tonight in Maine, I sit here listening to the | | | | The foothills of the mountains, where we |
| crickets, smelling the lilacs and the balsam, | | | | live, are beautiful. If we had stayed in |
| and looking out over the field, which is | | | | southern New England, we never would have |
| still lit by the last remnants of our long | | | | been able to afford the amount of land we |
| twilight, remembering summers past and | | | | have here. (Of course, thanks to Maine's tax |
| winters yet to come and thinking of all the | | | | system, we can't really afford the land we |
| many things that make up our Maine life and I | | | | have here anymore either, but we could afford |
| wonder to myself, "How the hell can I get out | | | | it when we bought it, until our taxes doubled |
| of this hellhole before next January?" | | | | in three years. I hate Maine.) |
| | | | |
| I hate Maine. I'm basically here because we | | | | If we ever hit Powerball or I sell a book |
| were looking for a place to live in VT or NH, | | | | (which would be more likely if I'd write one) |
| took a wrong turn in Brattleboro, went north | | | | we would be out of here so fast, that we'd |
| and decided that we'd explore Rt2, followed | | | | leave contrails. I don't know where we'd go |
| it to Rumford, where the air didn't smell | | | | but it'd be warmer in the winter, have fewer |
| like paper mill only because it was Sunday | | | | bugs, less wind, less snow, fewer carcinogens |
| and the geek found a job listing in the | | | | in the air and less mercury in the water, |
| Bangor newspaper that some fool had left in a | | | | fewer Republican congress critters and more |
| restaurant booth. Off we flew, like | | | | community for secular unschoolers. Of course, |
| snowflakes on the west wind. | | | | the only drawback would be that we'd have to |
| | | | leave some good friends, good neighbors and |
| He started with phones at a phone company | | | | good memories of the happy times we've had |
| that was so small that the owner's wife, who | | | | here in Maine. |
| knew nothing about phone systems, helped out | | | | |
| while breastfeeding an infant and toilet | | | | Well, maybe we'd come back for a couple of |
| training a toddler with a little portable | | | | months in the summer, but we're definitely |
| potty that she brought with her. Talk about | | | | not spending any more than July and August |
| multi-tasking. Didn't phaze the geek though. | | | | here. Of course, fall IS the best time of the |
| He just kept his head down and made sure his | | | | year in Maine, after the bugs die and the |
| butt set didn't hit her in the anywhere. | | | | summer complaints have all gone back to |
| (Butt sets are those big phone handsets that | | | | Boston or wherever they came from and before |
| phone guys have hanging from their belts. | | | | the hunters arrive to shoot at our horses and |
| Well, what did you think they were?) | | | | Black Labs and anything else that has four |
| | | | legs. (This is the only reason we take in the |
| That job lasted long enough for the geek to | | | | lawn furniture in late October.) |
| get enough experience and training to apply | | | | |
| for a state job, which he's had ever since. | | | | If we don't hit Powerball, we'll have to wait |
| While he was learning the ropes - or I guess | | | | to leave until Geekdaddy retires. However, |
| I should say the wires - of the phone and | | | | due to our late start at parenthood, we'll |
| computer biz, we were also training to be | | | | still have a teenager who will probably yowl |
| foster parents, something we did for 11 | | | | her head off if we tell her we're moving away |
| years. Fifteen kids passed through our home | | | | from her friends, so we may have to wait a |
| and three stayed through adoption. It's one | | | | few years until she's launched. But right |
| of the reasons I love Maine. Maine gave us | | | | after that, no question about it, we're outta |
| our kids. | | | | here. I just can't see living in a place I |
| | | | hate, even if I do love it. |
| Okay, I know I said I hate Maine. I do. But I | | | | |