| Most parents want their young children to
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| | are unlikely to have their self-esteem
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| have a healthy sense of self-esteem. That
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| | strengthened from excessive praise or
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| desire can also be seen in
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| | flattery. On the contrary, it may raise
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| education--schools around the country
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| | some doubts in children; many children
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| include self-esteem among their goals.
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| | can see through flattery and may even
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| Many observers believe that low
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| | dismiss an adult who heaps on praise as a
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| self-esteem lies at the bottom of many of
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| | poor source of support--one who is not
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| society's problems.
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| | very believable.
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| Even though self-esteem has been studied
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| | The following points may be helpful in
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| for more than 100 years, specialists and
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| | strengthening and supporting a healthy
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| educators continue to debate its precise
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| | sense of self-esteem in your child:
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| nature and development. Nevertheless,
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| | As they grow, children become
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| they generally agree that parents and
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| | increasingly sensitive to the evaluations
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| other adults who are important to
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| | of their peers. You and your child's
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| children play a major role in laying a
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| | teachers can help your child learn to
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| solid foundation for a child's
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| | build healthy relationships with his or
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| development.
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| | her peers.
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| What Is Self-Esteem?
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| | When children develop stronger ties with
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| When parents and teachers of young
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| | their peers in school or around the
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| children talk about the need for good
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| | neighborhood, they may begin to evaluate
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| self-esteem, they usually mean that
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| | themselves differently from the way they
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| children should have "good feelings"
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| | were taught at home. You can help your
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| about themselves. With young children,
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| | child by being clear about your own
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| self-esteem refers to the extent to which
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| | values and keeping the lines of
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| they expect to be accepted and valued by
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| | communication open about experiences
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| the adults and peers who are important to
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| | outside the home.
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| them.
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| | Children do not acquire self-esteem at
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| Children with a healthy sense of
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| | once nor do they always feel good about
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| self-esteem feel that the important
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| | themselves in every situation. A child
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| adults in their lives accept them, care
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| | may feel self-confident and accepted at
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| about them, and would go out of their way
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| | home but not around the neighborhood or
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| to ensure that they are safe and well.
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| | in a preschool class. Furthermore, as
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| They feel that those adults would be
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| | children interact with their peers or
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| upset if anything happened to them and
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| | learn to function in school or some other
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| would miss them if they were separated.
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| | place, they may feel accepted and liked
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| Children with low self-esteem, on the
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| | one moment and feel different the next.
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| other hand, feel that the important
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| | You can help in these instances by
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| adults and peers in their lives do not
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| | reassuring your child that you support
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| accept them, do not care about them very
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| | and accept him or her even while others
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| much, and would not go out of their way
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| | do not.
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| to ensure their safety and well-being.
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| | A child's sense of self-worth is more
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| During their early years, young
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| | likely to deepen when adults respond to
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| children's self-esteem is based largely
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| | the child's interests and efforts with
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| on their perceptions of how the important
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| | appreciation rather than just praise. For
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| adults in their lives judge them. The
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| | example, if your child shows interest in
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| extent to which children believe they
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| | something you are doing, you might
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| have the characteristics valued by the
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| | include the child in the activity. Or if
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| important adults and peers in their lives
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| | the child shows interest in an animal in
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| figures greatly in the development of
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| | the garden, you might help the child find
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| self-esteem. For example, in families and
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| | more information about it. In this way,
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| communities that value athletic ability
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| | you respond positively to your child's
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| highly, children who excel in athletics
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| | interest by treating it seriously.
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| are likely to have a high level of
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| | Flattery and praise, on the contrary,
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| self-esteem, whereas children who are
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| | distract children from the topics they
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| less athletic or who are criticized as
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| | are interested in. Children may develop a
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| being physically inept or clumsy are
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| | habit of showing interest in a topic just
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| likely to suffer from low self-esteem.
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| | to receive flattery.
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| Families, communities, and ethnic and
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| | Young children are more likely to benefit
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| cultural groups vary in the criteria on
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| | from tasks and activities that offer a
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| which self-esteem is based. For example,
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| | real challenge than from those that are
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| some groups may emphasize physical
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| | merely frivolous or fun. For example, you
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| appearance, and some may evaluate boys
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| | can involve your child in chores around
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| and girls differently. Stereotyping,
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| | the house, such as preparing meals or
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| prejudice, and discrimination are also
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| | caring for pets, that stretch his or her
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| factors that may contribute to low
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| | abilities and give your child a sense of
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| self-esteem among children.
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| | accomplishment.
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| How Can We Help Children Develop a
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| | Self-esteem is most likely to be fostered
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| Healthy Sense of Self-Esteem?
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| | when children are esteemed by the adults
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| The foundations of self-esteem are laid
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| | who are important to them. To esteem
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| early in life when infants develop
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| | children means to treat them
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| attachments with the adults who are
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| | respectfully, ask their views and
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| responsible for them. When adults readily
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| | opinions, take their views and opinions
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| respond to their cries and smiles, babies
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| | seriously, and give them meaningful and
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| learn to feel loved and valued. Children
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| | realistic feedback.
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| come to feel loved and accepted by being
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| | You can help your child develop and
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| loved and accepted by people they look up
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| | maintain healthy self-esteem by helping
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| to. As young children learn to trust
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| | him or her cope with defeats, rather than
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| their parents and others who care for
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| | emphasizing constant successes and
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| them to satisfy their basic needs, they
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| | triumphs. During times of disappointment
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| gradually feel wanted, valued, and loved.
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| | or crisis, your child's weakened
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|
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| | self-esteem can be strengthened when you
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| Self-esteem is also related to children's
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| | let the child know that your love and
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| feelings of belonging to a group and
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| | support remain unchanged. When the crisis
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| being able to adequately function in
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| | has passed, you can help your child
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| their group. When toddlers become
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| | reflect on what went wrong. The next time
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| preschoolers, for example, they are
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| | a crisis occurs, your child can use the
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| expected to control their impulses and
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| | knowledge gained from overcoming past
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| adopt the rules of the family and
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| | difficulties to help cope with a new
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| community in which they are growing.
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| | crisis. A child's sense of self-worth and
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| Successfully adjusting to these groups
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| | self-confidence is not likely to deepen
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| helps to strengthen feelings of belonging
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| | when adults deny that life has its ups
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| to them.
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| | and downs.
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| One point to make is that young children
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