| I want to firstly clear up a major parenting | | | | limit style as children develop poor behavioral patterns |
| misconception. There is no one right way to raise a | | | | from the low discipline parenting style. It is easy on you |
| child. As with buying a car, becoming friends with your | | | | to use the low love/low limit style because you avoid |
| neighbours, or hanging out your clothes to dry, there is | | | | any action and possible counteracts your child may |
| no one correct style you need to use for raising a | | | | give. |
| healthy-minded child. | | | | In one popular episode of Dr Phil, the Doctor was trying |
| There a typically four parenting styles based on | | | | to solve a family's disciplining problems. The mum |
| parenting research: | | | | whom he was talking to on the show had this mindset |
| 1. low love/low limits | | | | of not disciplining her children because they would |
| 2. low love/high limits | | | | perceive her in a negative light. Dr Phil got through to |
| 3. high love/low limits | | | | the mum by saying something along these lines, "That |
| 4. high love/high limits | | | | is an extremely selfish act by not disciplining your |
| The love and limit parenting styles deal with how the | | | | children because of their poor behaviour. You really |
| parent disciplines their child/children. | | | | are only caring about yourself." The mum completely |
| Love means the parent disciplines using love such as | | | | agreed and began to change her behavioural |
| comforting and negotiations. While limits means the | | | | disciplining style. |
| parent disciplines using either passive, assertive, or | | | | However, do be careful with a high limit style that |
| aggressive discipline. | | | | moderates the child's behaviour as it is more controlling |
| A short example of each of these limit styles are: | | | | and not recommended if more assertive and loving |
| Passive discipline is doing nothing; Assertive discipline is | | | | styles can be used. No one likes to be put on a |
| addressing the problem with you and the child coming | | | | pyschological collar, dragged around, and poked by the |
| out as winners such as negotiation; Aggressive | | | | person controlling them. Do not use unnecessary |
| discipline can be smacking the child. | | | | control when effective communication skills can be |
| You do not necessarily have one of these four | | | | utilised as it erects a barrier to communication and |
| parenting styles, but these are the major four and you | | | | makes the other person shut you out. |
| do use both love and limits regardless of who you are. | | | | As a parent, you need to utilise a high love style while |
| It's about finding the right balance of love and limits that | | | | finding the right limit style. In a situation where the child |
| suit you and your child's situation. | | | | is under physical danger or some other major problem |
| If you have a high love parenting style, then you'll | | | | could result, you may need to be aggressive. When |
| reason, talk, and spend more time with them. | | | | something needs to be done such as your children are |
| If you have a high limit parenting style, you use your | | | | noisy and they need to go to bed, an assertive |
| authoriative power. This is said to be more old school | | | | approach is recommended such as, "Your squeeling |
| with techniques such as smacking and the cane. It also | | | | ('The why' e.g. their noise) is making a lot of noise in the |
| includes a more recommended technique, assertive | | | | house and has made me angry ('The what.' |
| communication. You attempt to establish the child's | | | | Preferrably a tangible effect for children)." Lastly a |
| discipline based on their respect for you and your | | | | passive or low limit approach where you do nothing |
| desire for them to follow rules. | | | | could be used when the child spills a drink provided it |
| Of the four parenting styles, you use the one which | | | | was an accident. Of course, you would clean the |
| feels "right" in your mind. | | | | mess-up but you shouldn't yell or punish the child for a |
| If your parents use a more high limit style and you felt | | | | simple accident. |
| this put you inline, then its likely you'll adopt the same | | | | Depending on the situation, you will need to vary the |
| disciplining techniques. On the otherhand, you could use | | | | limit style. There is no set style to raise a child, except |
| a high love style because you felt your parents were | | | | to have the style of variation. Be loving and be ready |
| overly aggressive when they used a high limit style. | | | | to adjust your limiting style to use passive, assertive, or |
| Research has concluded that using a more low love | | | | aggressive behavioural discipline. |
| high limit parenting style is better then a low love/low | | | | |