Sibling Rivalry - Stress Relief for Parents

The mischievous son with an incredible knack forcooperation. The irony of sibling rivalry is that those
trouble who seems to delight in torturing hishostile feelings between siblings cannot be resolved
sister… The mildly deceptive daughter whountil they are allowed to surface. By promoting an
takes great satisfaction in taking tattling to theenvironment that discourages or does not allow
extreme… Every time you try to help - the truthfighting, we perpetuate conflict and underlying feelings
gets twisted, fingers are pointed, and the fightingof hostility by failing to acknowledge them. Instead,
continues, even worse than before. Sound familiar?parents can create an atmosphere where hostile
Rest assured, as a parent you are not alone.feelings between siblings can be safely expressed and
Sibling rivalry is an age-old dynamic that has affectedunderstood.
generations for as long as we can remember. ManyMoreover, sibling rivalry creates a "Catch-22" for
family therapists have found that sibling rivalry canwell-intentioned parents who play referee to put an
really impact quality of family life, family communication,end to the never-ending squabbles. No matter what
parental stress, and self-esteem in children.you do to end the fighting, one or both siblings will feel
Sibling rivalry can be best understood as childrenthey have been treated unfairly; or that you have
engaging in an allout competition for their parents' lovetaken the other side, only to leave you looking like the
and attention. Approval and affection are at stake, andbad guy!
your children will go to great lengths to get it. It's aNow is the time to embrace the role of facilitator and
perfect breeding ground for conflict and envy overteacher where you encourage your children to settle
each others' accomplishments, privileges, and justtheir disputes on their own. After all, there is no better
about anything else you can imagine.teacher than you. Parents feel relieved to learn that
Gaining insight into the emotional fireworks behindthey can successfully implement some concrete tools
sibling rivalry can really empower parents to improvewhile playing an invaluable role in restoring peace to
communication and change family roles to promotetheir family.