| I love slow living. It's peaceful, meaningful and downright | | | | that I have four teenage daughters (ages 13, 14, 16 and |
| radical in a go-go world.According to a recent article in | | | | 17), they look at me with a mixture of horror and pity. |
| (appropriately enough)Time magazine, groups of | | | | Life must be tough at your house, they say. You must |
| harried parents across the USA are joining a wave of | | | | live in your car, they tell me.Um--no.My idea of |
| slow living advocates by doing something really | | | | multi-tasking is breathing, talking, and hiking in the |
| revolutionary--having one sit-down dinner at home with | | | | woods--all at the same time. My family eats a relaxing |
| their kids each week.I don't know whether to applaud | | | | dinner together at home--by candlelight!--at least five |
| or cry.The idea that parents are willing to undertake | | | | nights a week. It's the best part of the day.Don't get |
| the Herculean task of rearranging their schedules to fit | | | | me wrong. Sports are great for kids. So is drama. And |
| in a single dinner at home is laudable. The fact that it | | | | music. And debate.But dinner matters, too. I figure that |
| requires superhuman effort is terribly sad.How did we | | | | my kids aren't going to be living with us forever, and |
| get here?The article states that back in the 1980s, | | | | while they're here, it's a lot more important to have |
| sociologists decided that providing structured activities | | | | dinner together than it is to have the girls sign up for |
| for kids would prevent juvenile delinquency. In addition, | | | | every sport and activity on earth.What they lack in |
| education experts suggested that American children | | | | basket-shooting ability, they've gained in conversation |
| needed to study harder to compete academically in | | | | skills, thoughtfulness, and an appreciation for family and |
| the global market.At the same time, American business | | | | shared meals.They don't eat yogurt from a tube while |
| leaders looked around and discovered they were | | | | riding in a van, then race home to study. Here's a |
| losing their edge. They bumped up hours and | | | | typical scene at our house: four girls sprawled on the |
| production rates in an effort to keep ahead of | | | | floor in front of the fireplace, doing homework or |
| burgeoning Asian countries. This new competitiveness | | | | reading. This is after we've had an enjoyable dinner |
| spilled over into the home, where mothers fresh from | | | | and they've cleaned up the kitchen.It makes me feel |
| the work force took the corporate ideal of high | | | | terribly guilty. Shouldn't I be exhausted and irritable, |
| productivity to the playgrounds.Yikes.I spent most of | | | | battered by constant demands for rides and juice |
| the eighties living and working in Asia. I taught English in | | | | packs?It's not that my kids don't do anything. They're |
| Japan for five years, so I'm all too familiar with the | | | | into all kinds of activities--drama, music, dance, |
| "education mama" syndrome. What's interesting is that | | | | volunteer work, and even jobs. Two are gearing up for |
| the American mamas have taken that same emphasis | | | | lacrosse, one is in the midst of interviews for a |
| on competition and achievement and focused on | | | | year-long exchange program, while the oldest is in her |
| sports or other activities. Although we don't have to | | | | senior year and doing the college application dance. It's |
| suffer the unfortunate consequences of despondent | | | | a busy time.And yet, they still eat a real dinner at home |
| students going through the examination hell of the | | | | most nights.All of us--singles, married couples, young |
| Japanese system, we have burned out 15-year-olds | | | | families and empty nesters--can benefit from the |
| having knee surgery for ten years' worth of soccer | | | | dinner ritual. By adopting and continuing the tradition of |
| injuries, and families who can't remember their last | | | | shared meals and conversation, we are emphasizing |
| no-TV, no-phone, real food meal at home.I think that | | | | the importance of thinking and sharing ideas. If we |
| somewhere between a manic preoccupation with | | | | want our culture to value thinking, we've got to start by |
| education and a rabid adherence to frenzied activity | | | | offering a tribute to it on a daily basis.Okay, so my kids |
| schedules is a happy medium.It's called dinner.People in | | | | may never get athletic scholarships. They may never |
| Europe or Latin America are horrified to hear of | | | | meet a single university athletic director before |
| families in the U.S. gulping dinner in their cars on a daily | | | | choosing which college to attend. They won't be the |
| basis. It's appalling that there are actually campaigns to | | | | next Olympic gymnast or ice skater, and they're not |
| re-introduce the concept of sitting down to eat. In | | | | likely to be conducting symphonies by the time they're |
| cultures where families gather for meals every | | | | 25.They'll have to settle for being happy, smart, kind, |
| afternoon and again late in the evening, they view this | | | | aware, motivated, and full of enthusiasm for the world |
| obsession with achievement as baffling, alarming and | | | | and their place in it. Their father and I will just have to |
| pitiful.And they're right.The truth is that it's pretty hard to | | | | be satisfied with lasting memories of slow life with our |
| lose control of your family's activities if you make | | | | cherished children, and our daughters will strive only to |
| dinner a priority most nights. It's simply not possible to | | | | duplicate this same lifestyle for their own families |
| attend multiple practices each night if you're expected | | | | someday.Radical, isn't it? |
| at the dinner table from 6:30-7:30.When I tell people | | | | |