IS DIVORCE THE ANSWER?

Yet another reason for the fact that 40% of thechildren. However, this gives you two years to think it
marriages in the UK end in divorce is the Divorceover.
Reform Act of 1969, which has made the processJudicial Separation
easier.This is best if you cannot reconcile your differences,
A survey conducted by The Grant Thornton Forensicespecially if there are pension or religious or ethical
Practice, shows that adultery is the prime cause forobjections to divorce. Or if the marriage is less than a
divorce, followed by 'unreasonable behaviour'.year old, in which case, a divorce decree is not
'Unreasonable Behaviour'applicable. This separation can only be granted on
The Divorce Reform Act of 1969, regardsgrounds of:
'Unreasonable Behaviour' as grounds for divorce. The- Adultery
law is rather fuzzy on this, and almost anything may- Unreasonable behaviour
be cited as unreasonable - be it snoring, unattended- Desertion by the other partner after two years
dirty laundry, or a tube of toothpaste squeezed the- Separation with consent after two years
wrong way. No wonder, divorce has become so easy- Separation without consent after five years.
to procure.This will enable the court to make decisions about
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fondermoney and property matters. However, the court will
It is up to you to stop and think. Is your spouse guilty ofensure that arrangements made for children, if any, are
'unreasonable behaviour', or are you just being pettyacceptable.
because you need a break? Marriage experts sayFor more information about separation agreements,
that taking a break once a year from each other canplease visit
rejuvenate your marriage. The distance will help youSoulmates
see things objectively, value each other, and recall theThere is destiny involved in marriage. That is why
things you loved about one another in the beginning.marriage is a sacrament, blessed by God in all cultures.
Teach your Children WellMy 84- year-old English friend says that had he and his
If you have children, remember that it is they who willwife divorced during the many bleak years of their
suffer most. They learn by your example, and you willmarriage, they could never have recovered their
be teaching them that love between adults does notoriginal love and improved on it immeasurably. The
last, and therefore, neither will your love for them.Buddhist way of thinking, so popular in the UK -
Marriage Counsellingconsider the ever- increasing Buddhist community -
Whatever the cause for the problems in yourviews marriage as a serious karmic bond necessary
relationship, marriage counselling is your first option. Afor the spiritual growth of the couple that have come
good marriage counselor can help you pinpoint thetogether. Each person has something to learn from the
underlying reasons for your conflict and help you dealother, and if he or she fails to do so, and escapes
with them, but it requires time, and effort from both offrom the situation, the situation will recur in some other
you. In the end, you will know whether the marriage isform till it has been resolved. For example, if ego is the
worth saving or not. You can find counselling servicesprime cause of the conflict, it must be dissolved, or the
at :individual will constantly face similar confrontational
Separation Agreementssituations.
If you are not living together, but would like to setAs J.R.R. Tokkein says in a letter to Michael Tolkein in
mutually agreed upon terms regarding finances,1941 -
property, children , or a divorce in the future, this is an'Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in
option. This is a commonly taken route, and thethe sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect
agreement is binding, but because it does not involveworld, or even with a little more care in this very
the court, agreements may prove difficult. Forimperfect one) both partners might be found more
example, a spouse may refuse to disclose his financialsuitable mates. But the real soul-mate is the one you
status, or disagree about visiting rights if there areare actually married to.