| Of course we love our kids - they're part of | | | | to the problem which they have found work. |
| us. They can be funny, cheeky, sweet, | | | | |
| loving, polite, giving, peaceful and cuddly, | | | | 4. Avoid relationship breakdown with your |
| but equally they can be difficult, stubborn, | | | | kids by dealing with issues in a proactive |
| hateful, rude, dishonest, selfish, noisy and | | | | way, rather than a reactive way. For |
| demanding. Deep down we know they don't mean | | | | example, if you have a teenager who is |
| it. They're just being kids, but even though | | | | exercising their need for independence, and |
| we know this, what with all the other | | | | you are not comfortable with it, then find a |
| responsibilities we have as parents, it can | | | | mutual compromise rather than going all-out |
| be difficult understanding, accepting, and | | | | for a ban or strong demand. |
| dealing with them. | | | | |
| | | | 5. Similarly, with a younger child, be firm |
| There will always be times when they push the | | | | and set boundaries without the need to shout |
| boundaries too far, and this really is how | | | | or be controlling. Keep anger out of your |
| kids exercise their free will, and also how | | | | communication. Many children do not even |
| they learn right from wrong, and how they | | | | hear what you say if you are shouting - they |
| test those boundaries. Your job is to show | | | | are more likely to want to shut you out. |
| them those boundaries stick, and there's | | | | |
| little room for breaking them, but there are | | | | 6. Take time out. Accept any offer of help |
| times when whatever we say or do is | | | | from aunty, gran, or friends. You need a |
| fruitless. At these difficult times it may | | | | break. Often, it's at the time we're away |
| be useful to remember the following:- | | | | from our kids we can sit back, talk and laugh |
| | | | about our day with them, having the |
| 1. Think back to when you were a child, or | | | | opportunity of being away from the situation |
| teenager. What did you get up to? How did | | | | to see it in a new perspective. This is much |
| you behave or treat others? Often we see | | | | more empowering. |
| ourselves in our children. Something they | | | | |
| say or do reminds us about how we were, and | | | | 7. With teenagers, remember that you are not |
| remembering this can help us to understand or | | | | the only significant person in their lives. |
| deal with them. | | | | Much that it's hard to understand their |
| | | | behaviour, remember that they are driven by |
| 2. If you're suffering a relationship | | | | the need to fit in and belong with their |
| breakdown or experiencing difficult behaviour | | | | peers and they'll do all manner of illogical |
| from your children, it's always helpful to | | | | things to do so - this is all-important to |
| share this with other parents. It will soon | | | | them. |
| become apparent that you are not alone, and | | | | |
| that nine times out of ten, your situation is | | | | It's not possible to be a perfect parent, and |
| nothing to worry about. | | | | frequently it's hard to do the above, and |
| | | | that's OK. But it's good to remember these |
| 3. If you use the internet, then join | | | | points, stick to them as much as you can, and |
| parenting forums, eg. Yahoo Groups - many | | | | you'll stand out from the crowd as a parent. |
| people like you share their similar | | | | Your kids will respect you too. |
| experiences on forums, and often have answers | | | | |