| Of course we love our kids - they're part of us. They | | | | similar experiences on forums, and often have |
| can be funny, cheeky, sweet, loving, polite, giving, | | | | answers to the problem which they have found work. |
| peaceful and cuddly, but equally they can be difficult, | | | | 4. Avoid relationship breakdown with your kids by |
| stubborn, hateful, rude, dishonest, selfish, noisy and | | | | dealing with issues in a proactive way, rather than a |
| demanding. Deep down we know they don't mean it. | | | | reactive way. For example, if you have a teenager |
| They're just being kids, but even though we know this, | | | | who is exercising their need for independence, and you |
| what with all the other responsibilities we have as | | | | are not comfortable with it, then find a mutual |
| parents, it can be difficult understanding, accepting, and | | | | compromise rather than going all-out for a ban or |
| dealing with them. | | | | strong demand. |
| There will always be times when they push the | | | | 5. Similarly, with a younger child, be firm and set |
| boundaries too far, and this really is how kids exercise | | | | boundaries without the need to shout or be controlling. |
| their free will, and also how they learn right from | | | | Keep anger out of your communication. Many children |
| wrong, and how they test those boundaries. Your job | | | | do not even hear what you say if you are shouting - |
| is to show them those boundaries stick, and there's | | | | they are more likely to want to shut you out. |
| little room for breaking them, but there are times when | | | | 6. Take time out. Accept any offer of help from aunty, |
| whatever we say or do is fruitless. At these difficult | | | | gran, or friends. You need a break. Often, it's at the |
| times it may be useful to remember the following:- | | | | time we're away from our kids we can sit back, talk |
| 1. Think back to when you were a child, or teenager. | | | | and laugh about our day with them, having the |
| What did you get up to? How did you behave or treat | | | | opportunity of being away from the situation to see it |
| others? Often we see ourselves in our children. | | | | in a new perspective. This is much more empowering. |
| Something they say or do reminds us about how we | | | | 7. With teenagers, remember that you are not the only |
| were, and remembering this can help us to understand | | | | significant person in their lives. Much that it's hard to |
| or deal with them. | | | | understand their behaviour, remember that they are |
| 2. If you're suffering a relationship breakdown or | | | | driven by the need to fit in and belong with their peers |
| experiencing difficult behaviour from your children, it's | | | | and they'll do all manner of illogical things to do so - this |
| always helpful to share this with other parents. It will | | | | is all-important to them. |
| soon become apparent that you are not alone, and | | | | It's not possible to be a perfect parent, and frequently |
| that nine times out of ten, your situation is nothing to | | | | it's hard to do the above, and that's OK. But it's good |
| worry about. | | | | to remember these points, stick to them as much as |
| 3. If you use the internet, then join parenting forums, eg. | | | | you can, and you'll stand out from the crowd as a |
| Yahoo Groups - many people like you share their | | | | parent. Your kids will respect you too. |