Are Parents Helping or Enabling Their Adult Children?

The primary job of a parent is to prepare their childrenmoney-management habits! Excuse ME...?!
for how the world really works. We teach and trainLet me see if I get this right. Young adults, married or
our children from childhood the knowledge and skillsliving together, working full-time jobs, with or without a
necessary to become independent adults,child to support, choose to spend their money
self-sufficient and upstanding members of society. Infrivolously, rather than ensuring they are living within
the real world, you don't always get what you want.their means, and when they run into financial trouble
Many young adults today have unrealistic expectationsand can't pay their bills, the parents OWE it to their
when they initially go out on their own. Many feel theychildren to rescue them?! Sometimes even expected
are entitled to immediately live a middle-class life styleto "help" many, many times over? Huh?!
(or better), because that's what they're used to. TheyI'm of the thinking that if my grown, adult children,
weren't born, or were very young children, during theCHOOSE to spend their money on things they
years their parents struggled to make ends meet, pay"want" rather than their "needs"
their bills (and on time), having to eat hot dogs and(like a place to live, utilities, food, etc.., like the rest of us
beans instead of steak dinners, struggling to live withindo) and their electric gets shut off because of
their means.non-payment? Okay! So their food goes bad and they
Many young adults are living at home with theirhave to throw it away. Maybe, just maybe, it's more of
parents, not out of true need, but out of what I refer toa "help" to allow them to experience the
as the "Whine Factor." They whine aboutconsequences of their own poor choices, in order to
the costs of housing, and how they just "couldn'tlearn the valuable lessons needed to be grown,
possibly live in a tiny little apartment, in a sub-standardindependent ADULTS.
neighborhood." They whine about having to liveRescuing them from their choices and subsequent
on red beans and rice, ramen noodles, or macaroniconsequences, giving them money as a fix to their
and cheese, because their current salary doesn't allowimmediate self-made problem, allowing them to move
for the kinds of meals they were used to at theirback in with their parents, this is called
parents home. (Someone get me a tissue.....snif)"help"? I think it's actually enabling our young
What happened to teaching our children how the Realadult children rather than help, preventing them from
World is?! That in order to have the things you want,the realities of the real world. In the real world, you
you have to work very hard. That you have towork long and hard for the things you need and want.
perhaps work two jobs instead of one, all the whileThat's the only way to truly appreciate what you have,
going to college? Many young adults, some who nowwhen you've worked very hard for it, all on your own.
have children of their own, believe their parentsSometimes the best help of all parents can give is
somehow "owe them" financial assistance,saying no.
to rescue them from the burden of their own poor