| NLP provides parents with a great toolkit
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| | state. Ask yourself: "what are the
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| for helping their children learn, get
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| | benefits of this state?"
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| along with others, and opt in to positive
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| | When you identify a state as positive for
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| states. Using exactly the same techniques
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| | the child (and possibly for you, too!),
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| and principles they would apply to
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| | then you anchor that state. Anchoring
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| working with adults, parents get great
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| | means associating a state with a physical
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| results. As a bonus, they also get a
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| | stimulus. If your child is engaged in a
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| chance to share the positive states their
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| | physical activity, elements of that
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| children experience. It's a win-win!
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| | activity will already be anchored to that
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| All NLP techniques are grounded in the
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| | state. If you want to transfer the state
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| fact that human beings experience life as
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| | to other contexts, try anchoring the
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| a series of continuous, unified states.
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| | state to a particular word, touch or
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| Our minds, bodies, emotions, beliefs,
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| | facial expression. Practice reinforcing
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| knowledge and memories are all present
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| | the anchor whenever you notice that state
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| and active simultaneously. Our neurology
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| | as your child engages in the same or
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| links every part of us that is active at
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| | different activities.
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| a particular moment so that we create
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| | What if your child enters a state that
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| life as a flow and not as a discontinuous
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| | you don't believe is positive? Your first
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| assortment of data.
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| | goal is to replicate aspects of the state
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| Parents are often amazed at the ease with
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| | in yourself so that you can notice its
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| which children move from one state to
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| | benefits. This means watching a tantrum
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| another. A three year old who is howling
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| | and noticing how powerful you feel as you
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| one moment can be giggling the next. A
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| | scrunch your face, shake your head or
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| teenager with nothing to say to her
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| | bang your fist repeatedly. Or it might
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| parents can be overflowing with words
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| | mean noticing how interesting it is to
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| when her cell phone rings. Children are
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| | move your attention very rapidly from one
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| experts at changing states.
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| | thing to another - noticing how it
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| As parents, our first job is to notice
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| | changes your relationship to what is
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| the state that our children are in and to
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| | around you. It's always valuable to
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| notice the benefits of this state. It
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| | accept that states have benefits for the
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| often seems that the easier it is to
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| | people engaged in them - even when they
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| notice the state, the harder it is to
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| | don't seem beneficial.
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| find benefits in it. Yet recognizing
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| | The goal of the exercise is not usually
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| that even very small children have good
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| | to leave the state unchanged, but to find
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| reasons for bad behaviour is an enormous
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| | a way to change it that preserves some
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| jump on changing that behaviour with
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| | elements of its benefits. Once you have a
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| relatively little stress.
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| | great read on your child's state, you can
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| In order to really appreciate the state
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| | change it by interrupting it, by firing
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| your child is in, you need to observe the
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| | resource anchors, or by helping your
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| way your child observes: using all your
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| | child move into a more positive
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| senses and quite a bit of your
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| | physiology.
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| physiology. You need to become a mirror
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| | Last, but certainly not least, you can
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| of your child's expressions, movements
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| | share stories with your child to
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| and postures. As you take on his/her
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| | establish a connection with his/her state
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| physical characteristics, you will learn
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| | and then transform it. Telling stories
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| something of his/her internal experience.
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| | together invites you to share your voice,
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| Try it. Join your child in an activity
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| | rhythms and expressions with your child -
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| and instead of teaching him/her how you
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| | whether you are doing the telling or the
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| do it, learn how s/he does it. Pay
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| | listening. The point of the story is not
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| attention to every aspect of his/her
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| | to get the story right - it's to get the
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| movement, gestures, shifting attention
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| | best transformation into a shared,
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| and expression. See how precisely you can
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| | positive state. Stories are a natural
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| replicate them. Notice what changes in
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| | technique for observing, engaging,
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| your feelings and perceptions as you take
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| | connecting and transforming. Your kids
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| on the characteristics of your child's
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| | will benefit - and so will you.
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