Success Builds Confidence!

Living in our dynamic, fast changing world can bethe game in front of him/her, s/he will most likely be
extremely stressful - even for those who aremore distracted by the game or instructions than
processing information at a normal rate. Imaginelearning how to do it.
moving to another country where you know only aChallenge: Once a child is clearly feeling competent,
limited amount of the language that the nationalsstep up your expectations a bit. For that instance: If
speak. It could be overwhelming! Now imagine trying toyour child is helping you to make a dinner you've made
keep up the same lifestyle you now have in thattogether often, pretend that you don't know how to
country. Without the support of a trusted guide, we'd allturn on the stove or that you can't find the wooden
fail! What a different experience that would be if youspoon. Give him/her a chance to think about how to
were given more guidance, such as learning about thesolve these problems. Stay quiet and wait patiently to
culture and foundational words in their language beforesee what s/he does. Step in with some support by
you go; or going with somebody that is familiar withdemonstrating how s/he might work through this
that country!problem if s/he is clearly unable to accomplish this
As a parent, being the guide to your children is anchallenge.
extremely important role; and when you have a childEncourage: Using sounds like "Wow!" or "ohhhh" while
with autism, the stress of this job is amplified all theworking together can slowly build those feelings of
more. The pace of our world is very fast, and muchcompetence.
too fast for a child with autism to process all that isSimplify: If your child is showing signs of stress (silliness,
necessary to function successfully. Below is theaggression, attempts to control, running off, etc.), find a
acronym SUCCESS, which offers 7 simple things youway to simplify the activity. For instance; If you are
can do to begin a successful guided relationship withthrowing a ball back and forth and he is unable to
your child.catch it, get closer and hand him/her the ball instead of
Support: Give as much support as your child needs inthrowing it. You might be surprised by what happens
order to be successful. If it means holding his/her handwhen you try this. Often times it feels too simple, and
to walk a spoon from the table to the sink to makethat's ok; remember that we are building confidence,
sure that s/he is able to do this, then do it! Anotherthe challenge of actually catching the ball can come
way to show support is to demonstrate what youlater.
want done so s/he's not trying to guess what it is youShort: Don't expect your child to stick with you for too
want him/her to do.long, especially if s/he shows a lot of resistance to
Uninterrupted: Find a space that is quiet and not full ofparticipating in activities with you. Giving him/her little
distractions such as computers, books, toys, or siblings.opportunities in which you know s/he'll be successful is
Offering a quiet space for just the two of you will helpa great way to lay a foundation for keeping him/her
him/her focus on what is important - the relationshipwith you longer in the future. Maybe it means that s/he
between you, and not the activity you are doing. Thispicks up the last block that was on the floor, or dumps
also means staying quiet yourself! Try doing activitiesthe spaghetti noodles into the water. Remember that
while using as few words as possible!there will always be another chance to make the
Control: Stay in control of the materials you are using. Ifactivity longer and more complicated as his/her
you are trying to play a game with all the materials toconfidence builds.