| A mother talks to her son about his dirty dishes in the | | | | about the world that relate to their way of thinking, and |
| sink. A dad punishes his daughter for talking back and | | | | those beliefs are not necessarily based on true |
| not being respectful. A step-mother holds her tongue | | | | information. Adults find themselves acting badly to |
| as her step-daughter swears at her. A step father | | | | parenting problems in ways they never thought they |
| explains to his wife how she should punish her son for | | | | would, and they are often not aware of what is really |
| not calling when he was out past curfew. Why would | | | | running them underneath their actions. |
| these parents in these various situations behave the | | | | ACTION STEP |
| way they do to their birth children and stepchildren? | | | | Work towards identifying your childhood conclusions |
| How do people learn how to parent their children, let | | | | about parenting by allotting some unbroken, private |
| alone someone else�s children? In all cases, | | | | time together as a pair. Or, if you don�t have |
| behavior is a direct result of a person�s | | | | a partner or spouse at this time, choose to do this with |
| beliefs. | | | | another single parent to get some mutual support and |
| And yet not very many parents know where their | | | | benefit. Determine who will start sharing and who will |
| beliefs about parenting come from. For most parents, | | | | put forward the questions. Be ready to alternate roles |
| the way they parent is a direct result of how they | | | | half-way through so that each of you gets the same |
| were parented. The majority of beliefs about parenting | | | | length of time to share. |
| are really formed starting at infancy and get solidified | | | | Inquire about each other's childhood. Determine who |
| by early childhood. These beliefs are so ingrained, and | | | | the central parental figures were for each of you. |
| so much a part of a person�s make-up, that | | | | Learn about how each of you was parented and |
| they are largely unconscious and not very easily | | | | what was effective in your life and what you wished |
| accessed. | | | | had been different. Dig for the possible conclusions you |
| By knowing what your beliefs are about parenting and | | | | made about parenting as a result of how you were |
| where those beliefs come from, you get to discover | | | | raised. Be absorbed and responsive in what your |
| that your thoughts are accurate or not. Kids have a | | | | partner has to say. |
| different way of thinking and often make meanings | | | | NOTE: Use of this article requires links to be intact. |