Are You In Control Of Your Children Or Are You Just A Controlling Parent?

When it comes to our children we do need to be thepart is stirring the batter. Sometimes a little slops over
ones in control. We are responsible for their safetybut oh well, she will eventually get better at it especially
and well being of course. But we are also the onesif I don't berate her and continue to let her help me. I
that need to teach them independence, good decisionhave found that with practice she is getting better at
making skills, and build their self esteem at the sameneatly adding ingredients and stirring.
time. Learn to pick your battles and your whole familyBasically what I am saying is you cannot expect
will run smoother and everyone will be much happier.perfection from your children. It just isn't going to
First off does it really matter if your child wears redhappen. They need to practice the skills you are
striped pants with a blue polka dotted shirt? If we areteaching them and sometimes they will make mistakes.
going to church or somewhere special then yes IDon't get me wrong if they are being naughty then by
would prefer that my daughter at least somewhatall means take control and dish out the appropriate
match, but if we are at home or just running to thediscipline, but if they are making mistakes because
store I let her pick her own clothes as long as they arethey are trying to learn then a little encouragement and
weather appropriate. Yes I get some funny looks but Ipatience will go a long way.
will have my revenge later because I of course takeWe also all want to teach our children to be
pictures of all the colorful clothing combinations she hasindependent and sometimes they are going to show
chosen and will be able to tease her about them later.their independence a little too strongly for our tastes.
My mom did the same thing with me, she has thisThat is when you need to make the decision is this a
wonderful picture of me with orange and pinkbattle I need to control or is it just not a big deal?
flowered pants and a green and blue striped shirt.After all just because you are the parent and in control
Does it really matter if every corner of her room isdoes not mean you have to "win" each time you and
picked up each and every day? I say no, she has anyour child disagree.
area where she does her "projects" and I personallyRemember the parenting skills you are using now are
see no reason why that can't be a little messy atthe ones your children will probably use when they
times. But we do have a hard and fast rule that onceraise your grandchildren. You might also want to keep
a week the room is totally cleaned and any toys orin mind that someday when you are older the roles
books must be picked up from other areas of themay get reversed and your children will be the ones "in
house before bed. She wins and I win.control" of you.
When it comes down to doing an arts and craftsRobin Reckard, co-founder of Lifestyle Magazine
project you need to be prepared to throw out thekeeps busy producing, writing, and editing for the
directions sometimes. If their imagination takes them tomagazine as well as raising and enjoying her six year
a different place than the directions then so what.old daughter.
Most of the time you are doing arts and crafts forVisit Jorbins Baby and Parenting section to read more
them to have fun anyway, so why stifle them andgreat child development and parenting articles.
make it less fun. My daughter wanted to do aCopyright 2006, Jorbins Inc. - Reprints of this article can
scrapbook so I got all the necessary stuff and as itbe made as long as the article is in it's entirety,
turns out she really just wanted to make a book ofunchanged, and the resource box with links and urls
her different "creations" using glue, markers, glitter, andremain unchanged.
other craft supplies. So what, I put up the photographsThis article is free for republishing
and she had a great time and I had a blast watchingSource:
and helping her when asked.Occupation: Co-owner of Jorbins.
My daughter likes to help me bake cakes, her favorite