Parenting Tips - How to Get Your Children to Listen

Is there a lot of stress and strain in your life becauseshare connections with others and are understood.
your children just don't listen?They learn by understanding.
Do you spend the majority of your waking momentsKinesthetic people communicate through their bodies.
chasing after your children because they are notThey move, feel and express through their bodies.
listening to you, and you feel like you have toKinesthetics love to touch, feel, do physical activities
micro-manage?and hug. They feel loved when they are touched.
Do you have no energy because all your energy isThey learn through touch and through experience.
spent being frustrated and blocked by your children'sSo children are not any different. If you are giving
apparent inability to follow orders?children orders or directions and they are not picking up
Well, the good news is you may be able to get backyour orders because they are in your own
your time and energy and a balanced family life simplycommunication mode and not their own communication
by understanding what the communication block ismode, they will genuinely not pick up or learn what you
between you and your children.are trying to tell them or teach them. They are not
Of course, every child is unique. Some children needbeing stubborn or defiant; they genuinely aren't
their freedom more than others. Some children enjoyreceiving it. It's like you are talking on an AM radio
structure, and some do not. But what they all do havestation and your children are receiving on an FM radio
is one, two, three or four communication modalities orstation.
communication modes in common.For example, my youngest son is a Visual child, and I
What is a communication modality or mode?used to have to repeatedly tell him to pick up his
As Dr. Robby, Director of the LMC Relationshipclothes and clean his room, but to him, my auditory
Centre, Developer of the Better Parents, Better Kidsorders were basically like the teacher's on the Charlie
Program, and co-author of our e-book, Better Parents,Brown cartoons, just a series of muffled noises. But
Better Kids, explains:after learning about communication modes, I realized
"Communication is the result you get. Different peoplethat if I really wanted to get across to him what I
are on different channels. We learn, we express lovewanted, I had to show him what I wanted him to do, or
and communicate through different modes ordo it with him, since a Visual child, just like Visual adults,
combinations of modes. It is important to know wholikes doing things with you, as does a Kinesthetic child.
you are playing with and what channel they are playingThe result is that now I never have to repeat myself
on, or else your communication will not be verywith my son; he picks up and understands my visual
effective. We basically all want to get what we want.cues.
If you cannot get your message through of what yourFor an Auditory child, if you are a Visual parent and
needs, wants, dreams, goals and visions are, you willyou are showing your child how to clean and tidy up, it
be very frustrated and stressed. So an understandingwon't have an impact on them unless you tell them
of communication modes is a basic skill for relationshipwhat you want and/or narrate as you are doing it. This
success, whether that is a relationship with a partner,works for a Digital child as well, if you explain step by
your children, friends, family or coworkers."step what you are doing so they understand the
The following is a very basic definition of thewhole process.
communication modes. You can be primarily one modeFor a Kinesthetic child, let them do a run-through
or a mixture of up to all four.themselves, or let them hold on to or touch what it is
Visual people communicate by seeing and doing. Theythat you are teaching or getting them to do. Kinesthetic
like activities and they like gifts. They notice people,children learn and remember through touch. Even
places and things with just the slightest glance. Theythough a Visual child likes doing, a Visual child can learn
feel and share love by doing things with or for otherby just seeing and watching, whereas a Kinesthetic
people. They take things at face value and do not lookchild has to go through the motions to truly learn.
deeper into things. They learn by seeing and doing.There is a part of you (especially if you are Visual)
Auditory people communicate through talking. Theysaying, "Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it." There is also a
have the natural gift of the gab, are designed to bepart of you that is connecting the dots and saying,
able to talk for long periods of time. They enjoy talking"Yeah, that makes sense, and that explains why my
and listening to other people talk. They feel loved whenchild does what they do that way."
they are talked to, and like to hear the words "I loveSo go ahead and come up with creative ways to
you." They learn by hearing.communicate with your children in their communication
Digital people communicate through connection andmodes, and see, hear, understand and/or feel what
understanding. They find the deeper meaning inhappens. You may just get that time, energy and
everything they think, see and do. Understanding ispeace of mind that you have always wanted, as well
very important to them. They feel loved when theyas a balanced and happy family, too.