Best tips for parents


Parenting Tips - How to Get Your Children to Listen

Is there a lot of stress and strain in yourUnderstanding is very important to them.
life because your children just don't listen?They feel loved when they share connections
with others and are understood. They learn
Do you spend the majority of your wakingby  understanding.
moments chasing after your children because
they are not listening to you, and you feelKinesthetic people communicate through their
like  you  have  to  micro-manage?bodies. They move, feel and express through
their bodies. Kinesthetics love to touch,
Do you have no energy because all your energyfeel, do physical activities and hug. They
is spent being frustrated and blocked by yourfeel loved when they are touched. They learn
children's apparent inability to followthrough  touch  and  through  experience.
orders?
So children are not any different. If you
Well, the good news is you may be able to getare giving children orders or directions and
back your time and energy and a balancedthey are not picking up your orders because
family life simply by understanding what thethey are in your own communication mode and
communication block is between you and yournot their own communication mode, they will
children.genuinely not pick up or learn what you are
trying to tell them or teach them. They are
Of course, every child is unique. Somenot being stubborn or defiant; they genuinely
children need their freedom more than others.aren't receiving it. It's like you are
Some children enjoy structure, and some dotalking on an AM radio station and your
not. But what they all do have is one, two,children are receiving on an FM radio
three or four communication modalities orstation.
communication  modes  in  common.
For example, my youngest son is a Visual
What  is  a  communication  modality or mode?child, and I used to have to repeatedly tell
him to pick up his clothes and clean his
As Dr. Robby, Director of the LMCroom, but to him, my auditory orders were
Relationship Centre, Developer of the Betterbasically like the teacher's on the Charlie
Parents, Better Kids Program, and co-authorBrown cartoons, just a series of muffled
of our e-book, Better Parents, Better Kids,noises. But after learning about
explains:communication modes, I realized that if I
really wanted to get across to him what I
"Communication is the result you get.wanted, I had to show him what I wanted him
Different people are on different channels.to do, or do it with him, since a Visual
We learn, we express love and communicatechild, just like Visual adults, likes doing
through different modes or combinations ofthings with you, as does a Kinesthetic child.
modes. It is important to know who you areThe result is that now I never have to
playing with and what channel they arerepeat myself with my son; he picks up and
playing on, or else your communication willunderstands  my  visual  cues.
not be very effective. We basically all want
to get what we want. If you cannot get yourFor an Auditory child, if you are a Visual
message through of what your needs, wants,parent and you are showing your child how to
dreams, goals and visions are, you will beclean and tidy up, it won't have an impact on
very frustrated and stressed. So anthem unless you tell them what you want and
understanding of communication modes is aor narrate as you are doing it. This works
basic skill for relationship success, whetherfor a Digital child as well, if you explain
that is a relationship with a partner, yourstep by step what you are doing so they
children,  friends,  family  or  coworkers."understand  the  whole  process.
The following is a very basic definition ofFor a Kinesthetic child, let them do a
the communication modes. You can berun-through themselves, or let them hold on
primarily one mode or a mixture of up to allto or touch what it is that you are teaching
four.or getting them to do. Kinesthetic children
learn and remember through touch. Even
Visual people communicate by seeing andthough a Visual child likes doing, a Visual
doing. They like activities and they likechild can learn by just seeing and watching,
gifts. They notice people, places and thingswhereas a Kinesthetic child has to go through
with just the slightest glance. They feelthe  motions  to  truly  learn.
and share love by doing things with or for
other people. They take things at face valueThere is a part of you (especially if you are
and do not look deeper into things. TheyVisual) saying, "Yeah, I'll believe it when I
learn  by  seeing  and  doing.see it." There is also a part of you that is
connecting the dots and saying, "Yeah, that
Auditory people communicate through talking.makes sense, and that explains why my child
They have the natural gift of the gab, aredoes  what  they  do  that  way."
designed to be able to talk for long periods
of time. They enjoy talking and listening toSo go ahead and come up with creative ways to
other people talk. They feel loved when theycommunicate with your children in their
are talked to, and like to hear the words "Icommunication modes, and see, hear,
love  you." They  learn  by  hearing.understand and/or feel what happens. You may
just get that time, energy and peace of mind
Digital people communicate through connectionthat you have always wanted, as well as a
and understanding. They find the deeperbalanced and happy family, too.
meaning in everything they think, see and do.



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