| Could 3 parenting tips turn your "I-can't" kid into an | | | | room, then you can watch TV. |
| "I-can" child? You bet. Look inside for 3 parenting tips | | | | When Sam wants to eat a snack, say, "First do your |
| you can use today. | | | | homework, then you can make yourself a snack." |
| Whose fault is it when your child acts helpless? If | | | | Don't let crying and whining break you down. Be |
| there's a person who treats your child like a prince or | | | | respectful and firm when you use, "First this, then that." |
| princess and does too much for your child, tell that | | | | Be consistent too. |
| person to stop. They're making your child, weak, | | | | Third Parenting Tip - Use your eyes to see and your |
| dependent, and helpless. | | | | tongue to encourage. |
| Why Kids Act Helpless | | | | Remember your child wants to feel loved and |
| Your Sally wants to get out of chores. She whines, "It's | | | | respected just like you do. So use your eyes to see |
| too much! You make me do everything!" You can't | | | | what your child is trying to do well. Be encouraging |
| stand your princess being upset, so you make the bed | | | | when your child tries. Your child will love your words |
| and put away most of the toys while | | | | and be more willing to try more things. |
| Sally drags her feet. Since the whining worked, Sally | | | | How to encourage your child to say, "I can!" |
| will whine again to get out of chores. Rescuing your | | | | When your child is whining, crying, and trying to get you |
| child is a great way to teach helplessness. | | | | to do his responsibilities say words like: |
| Your Sam hates homework and cries, "It's too hard." | | | | You're good at figuring things out. |
| He goes to you, Dad, and makes a big fuss. You can't | | | | You have a big, strong brain. |
| stand the crying, so you grab the homework and yell, | | | | You can do it. |
| "Get out of here!" You just want peace and quiet. | | | | I know you can because you've done it before. |
| Sam learns that crying works. You do the homework | | | | I believe in you. |
| and he runs out to play. Rescuing your Sam is a super | | | | Some parents say, "I'm not going to baby my child with |
| way to teach him how to move through life without | | | | such praise. She should just do what I tell her." |
| trying. | | | | To those parents I say, "If what you're doing isn't |
| When your child whines, cries, or complains and you or | | | | working, what have you got to lose by trying these |
| someone else runs to the rescue, your child learns to | | | | parenting tips? |
| be helpless. He'll use those tactics over and over. | | | | Conclusion for Turning Your "I-Can't" Kid into an "I-Can" |
| How do you break the cycle of helplessness? | | | | Child |
| First Parenting Tip - Avoid doing for your child what | | | | Don't let your child drown in a sea of helplessness. |
| your child can do for himself | | | | Rescue less, encourage more by following these |
| Why? When you or someone else jumps in to rescue, | | | | parenting tips - |
| you're telling your child, "You're right. You can't do it. | | | | Avoid doing for your child what your child can do for |
| You're helpless. I'll do it for you." You've taught him to | | | | himself. |
| give up easily, become a whiner, and drown in a sea | | | | Use the technique, "First this then that." |
| of helplessness. Sadly he may never know the good | | | | Encourage your child's positive efforts. |
| feeling of accomplishment. | | | | Be consistent, firm, and kind in your efforts. If you do, |
| Second Parenting Tip - Use the technique, "First this, | | | | you won't be complaining, "My child acts helpless!" You'll |
| then that" | | | | be building character instead. You can do it. I know you |
| When Sally wants to watch TV, say, "First clean your | | | | can. |