| Dealing with defiant children is frustrating. Defiant | | | | him praise five times more often than the number of |
| children disobey parents, are impulsive and act | | | | times the parent reprimands him. Telling the child you |
| aggressively. They have difficulty controlling and | | | | like her behavior should happen within ten seconds of |
| managing their emotions and they tend to become | | | | the occurrence of the act or she will not be able to |
| easily angry and frustrated. Although it is a complex | | | | connect the praise with the action. Telling him that he is |
| parenting task to deal with defiant children, parents can | | | | sitting quietly tells him what constitutes good behavior. |
| learn to deal with this successfully. | | | | 3. At times when a child has to be stopped. One |
| Children begin to disobey their parents between the | | | | successful approach is to limit where the child can go |
| age of two and three. While this is typical behavior for | | | | for the same amount of minutes as her age at the |
| this age, parents cannot just say it's a phase and | | | | first sign of a problem. Don't send him to his room |
| ignore the child. In order to deal with defiant children | | | | since that's where the toys are. Having her sit for 3 |
| every day, parents need to be prepared to stop the | | | | minutes in a time-out chair will give her a chance to get |
| child at once as often as necessary. Doctors say that | | | | control of herself. If he screams at you the whole time, |
| treating defiant behavior within the ages of 2 and 5 is | | | | you can add the idea that he may get up only when |
| much easier than trying to correct it when children are | | | | he can control himself. If she refuses to sit at all, you |
| older because younger children are more | | | | can restrain her gently by holding her on your lap and |
| impressionable. Early intervention will prevent serious | | | | crossing her arms in front of her body. |
| behavioral problems in older children. | | | | 4. It is necessary to communicate clear expectations in |
| Four ways to handle defiance include: | | | | advance of an activity to avoid a display of defiance. |
| 1. Avoiding repetitive strict punishments. This is a | | | | Telling the child to be good does not communicate |
| temporary solution. The child will gradually learn to | | | | anything. Instead, specific information should be |
| match his resistance to the severity of the punishment. | | | | communicated. Before going to the market let him |
| Angry parents teach children to be angry. Stay [calm | | | | know that he will not be allowed to run through the |
| in front of your child. Telling her that you will not allow | | | | aisles. Tell her that she may walk next to you; but if |
| her to hit her baby brother tells her what you don't like | | | | she runs away, she will have to sit in the cart. |
| and what you will do about it. | | | | More information on defiant children can be found |
| 2. Most parents make the mistake of constantly | | | | in parenting guides or similar types of self help books. |
| reprimanding their child. It is more important to approve | | | | Parents can also get help from parents with older |
| of good behavior. Keep in mind the 5 to 1 rule. A | | | | children, psychologists, and friends who are teachers. |
| parent should find good things the child does and give | | | | |