| There is nothing that adequately prepares us for the | | | | loud and clear. |
| most important job there is-parenting. Children and | | | | (4) Be a good listener |
| teens do not come with an owners manual, and most | | | | You know you have heard someone correctly when |
| of our training is on the job. With our own parents as | | | | they feel understood. One way to do this is to repeat |
| our most prominent role models, we tend to repeat | | | | what you think you heard back to them. They will |
| what we have learned about parenting from them. | | | | clarify what they meant if they think you are genuinely |
| We do our best, learn as we go, and make our own | | | | interested and trying to understand them. Kids also |
| mistakes along the way; but, we do not have to leave | | | | need to feel safe when sharing their thoughts, with no |
| our parenting to chance. We can become more | | | | fear of judgment, being cut off, or causing an angry |
| effective parents. We can parent with more | | | | reaction. It is important to resist arguments and criticism. |
| confidence instead of frustration. Parenting can be | | | | When there are disagreements, parents can express |
| enjoyable and rewarding instead of stressful. | | | | that it is okay to disagree. Although their thoughts and |
| Following are some parenting tips for improving | | | | feelings differ, they are not rejecting their child. Parents |
| communication and building healthy and respectful | | | | and their children will encounter many differences in |
| relationships with our children and teens. | | | | opinion. However, being a good listener lets your |
| (1) Show interest in your kids | | | | children know that you understand where they are |
| One of the best ways to get anyone to talk is to | | | | coming from without lecturing or threatening. |
| show interest in them and what is important to them. | | | | (5) Use words to motivate |
| Sports, music, or any other activity provides great | | | | If you see your children and teens as winners, beautiful, |
| ways to connect and share. Become engaged in | | | | and full of potential, they will know it and act on it. It will |
| whatever it is your child or teen enjoys. It can be | | | | show in how you treat them and what you say. As a |
| anything--watching a football game together, listening | | | | result, they will believe in themselves as well. Your |
| to songs and talking about favorite artists, watching | | | | words have power. The words of a parent can |
| your child draw or build model cars, or helping your | | | | motivate and empower for a lifetime. They can also |
| daughter with her hair and nails. | | | | discouraged and break the spirit of a child if they are |
| (2) Initiate conversations | | | | negative and critical. We can all recall things our |
| Often parents begin conversations with a question | | | | parents have said about us that we have carried with |
| instead of simply sharing their thoughts. Kids are more | | | | us throughout our lives, such as: I believe in you. You |
| likely to engage in conversations when they do not | | | | can do anything you set your mind to. You are so |
| feel they have to explain or defend themselves. Letting | | | | smart and creative. Or, you will never amount to |
| them know you are thinking about them and that you | | | | anything. You do not have what it takes. You are the |
| care about what is happening in their lives are good | | | | ugly one of the family. Let us choose our words |
| ways to initiate conversations. Timing is important as | | | | carefully. Speaking good things over them, blessing |
| well. Good times to talk might be bedtime, while driving, | | | | them with our words motivates them to fulfill their |
| or at dinner. | | | | purpose in life. |
| (3) Make yourself available | | | | It is not easy parenting children and teens and knowing |
| Sometimes parents get so busy and do not realize | | | | what to say or how to bring out the best in them. |
| that their children feel there is no time left for them. | | | | Feeling connected and getting along with our kids |
| They do not express this directly saying, "You know, I | | | | takes time and effort. The goods news is that parents |
| have been feeling neglected lately. It seems you are | | | | and teens can have healthy connections that are |
| too busy with everything and everyone else and do | | | | founded upon trust and unconditional love. The |
| not make time for me. And when you are with me, | | | | parenting tips provided above are a good start to |
| you seem preoccupied and distracted." They might, | | | | better communication and a more rewarding parenting |
| instead, distance themselves or act out for some | | | | experience. For more tips or help with communication |
| negative attention. Making time for kids can be a | | | | and parenting issues, parents may benefit from |
| sacrifice, especially for very busy parents, but the | | | | parenting classes or family counseling. |
| investment is well worth it. Developing a good | | | | Copyright 2010 All Rights Reserved. |
| relationship with children and teens requires time-both | | | | NewDayCounseling.org Written by Krystal Kuehn. |
| quality time and quantity of time. Planning weekly | | | | Children need love, especially when they do not |
| one-on-one time with no distractions is a good idea. | | | | deserve it. ~anonymous |
| Kids want to know that they are important and valued. | | | | Love is the greatest gift that one generation can leave |
| Making yourself available to them communicates this | | | | to another. |