| In our busy lives, we are often listening to our children | | | | are not the problem or the story. It is just an |
| on the run, or not stopping and giving them our full | | | | experience they are having. |
| attention. For some kids this is OK but for children who | | | | If you child doesn't feel like talking: |
| are experiencing behavioural, learning and health issues | | | | 1. Create some 'fun' time together, you may find that |
| listening can really make a difference. | | | | after a while they just open up. |
| Often when a child is acting out, getting into trouble at | | | | 2. As you are tucking them into bed, gently ask if there |
| school, or having hyperactive tendencies they are | | | | is anything they need to talk about. |
| really saying "PLEASE LISTEN TO ME"! | | | | 3. Go on a longish car trip, just the two of you. I find |
| Here are some 'heart-centred' listening ideas you may | | | | this very successful with my boys. |
| like to try: | | | | If your child isn't very talkative, or doesn't talk at all, you |
| Start by being present with your child, and letting go of | | | | could try just sitting with them for 5-10 minutes and ask |
| any thoughts, ideas, judgements and expectations. | | | | the question either in your mind or out loud 'How can I |
| If your child starts to talk: | | | | love and understand you more?' They may answer it |
| 1. Listen to what they are saying, let them talk for as | | | | with or without words, it doesn't really matter. Just be |
| long as they need to. And try not to interrupt, fix or | | | | with them, listen to them and let go of any |
| solve their problem. | | | | expectations. (When my son Cameron was younger I |
| 2. Once they have finished ask them if they want any | | | | used to do this with him. Every time it created such a |
| help finding a solution to their problem. They need to | | | | special connection with him). |
| have a choice, as they may just want to share and | | | | If you set up a habit of 'heart centred listening' to your |
| not have their problem solved. | | | | child when they are young, they are likely to come to |
| 3. If they do want help, guide them to find a solution | | | | you in their teenage years when they have a problem. |
| themselves, giving them ideas and choices. Try not to | | | | It also tells them, on all levels, you are important and |
| solve it for them. | | | | special. And we all need to know that! |
| 4. Remind your child of their specialness, and that they | | | | |