| Over the last few years I've come across countless | | | | kitchen and is dragging pots and pans out of the |
| situations were parents feel like they don't know how | | | | cabinet. You know that you'll have to clean this up. You |
| to deal with toddlers and preschoolers. Parents get | | | | want the behavior to stop. Be honest now. In this |
| stressed out because of the "bad behavior" and I've | | | | situation, would you normally just tell your child to "stop" |
| received plenty of emails from those who feel that | | | | and take them out of the kitchen? If you answered |
| they've failed at being a parent. If this describes you | | | | "yes", then you've tried to solve the problem by using |
| then I'd like to invite you to enter my world and learn | | | | logic, or by assuming your child will understand that this |
| more about how you can take advantage of language | | | | behavior is not allowed. Guess what? It almost always |
| as a toolbox for change. Parenting toddlers and | | | | results in a tantrum. |
| preschoolers can go back to being fun again. All you | | | | So what do you do instead of using logic? Start |
| need is a willingness to learn, and an appreciation for | | | | managing your toddler's state of mind. Change the |
| new advice. | | | | focus of his or her attention. Use distraction or |
| Remember when your baby was born? Sure, it was | | | | confusion techniques to create an opportunity to shift |
| stressful at times. It was a huge change in your life. | | | | your child to a new activity. There are plenty of ways |
| You didn't always know why your child was crying. | | | | to deal with toddlers that don't involve rational |
| But you quickly discovered the main culprits of | | | | explanations or logic. |
| temperature, hunger, gas, a soiled diaper, or fatigue. | | | | Here's a quick way to get your toddler out of a messy |
| Those were rather easy problems to solve, and you | | | | situation without a fight. First, enter the child's world. |
| didn't need any special skills. You didn't have to ask | | | | Say, "I see you are playing with these pots and making |
| your baby what was wrong. You just learned to figure | | | | a lot of nose. That must be a lot of fun!" Next, start to |
| it out based on "reading" your baby's behavior. | | | | distract your child with something simple such as a |
| | | | tickle and some laughing. This positions you in positive |
| Then sometime between 12-24 months your baby | | | | manner, not as the mother or father about to take |
| became a toddler. Crawling turned into walking, and | | | | away the toys. Finally, change the scenery by carrying |
| mutterings turned into real words. Your child would | | | | your child over to the window and pointing out |
| point at things, ask for things, and literally freak out if | | | | something interesting. Maybe it's the squirrel climbing in |
| you said "No". Am I right so far? | | | | the tree. Maybe an airplane flying overhead? Young |
| | | | kids have a short attention span. All you need to do is |
| I'm going to give you the single most important advice | | | | be a bit "sneaky" in changing your child's focus while |
| that I think all parents of toddlers need to understand. | | | | maintaining a positive state of mind. Then, following the |
| Ready? Accept that children in the age range of two | | | | distraction, give them something new to do. |
| to four have almost no reasoning skills. Logic is usually | | | | In nearly every instance, tantrums and bad behavior |
| a bad way to approach a problem. That's it. Once you | | | | are the result of a certain (negative) emotional state in |
| appreciate this, your ability to prevent tantrums will | | | | your child. If you want to change the behavior, you |
| have suddenly skyrocketed. | | | | need to change the emotional state first. Language is a |
| One of my pet peeves is when people write advice | | | | powerful asset that parents can use to steer children |
| about what not to do, but they don't give you any | | | | into resourceful states. After all, kids don't tend to |
| useful suggestions on how to replace the old habit. So | | | | misbehave or throw tantrums when they are laughing |
| let me expand upon this statement. Let's pretend that | | | | and smiling. |
| your toddler or preschooler is messing around in the | | | | |