| Selfishness, like a small mirror, only sees the self. How | | | | behavior. |
| can you help your child go beyond the mirror and see | | | | |
| others? Parents of kids with great character know | | | | 1. How do you think the other person felt? |
| how. They ask 2 important questions. The questions | | | | 2. - How do you think the family felt when you ate all |
| boost moral reasoning. Before I tell you what they are, | | | | the candy? |
| think back to a time when your child was selfish. | | | | 3. - How did your little brother feel when you took his |
| Did you tell him why he ate all the candy, took his little | | | | toy? |
| brother's toy, or whined when he wasn't first? | | | | 4. - How did your classmates feel when you whined to |
| - "You ate the candy because you didn't care about | | | | be first? |
| the rest of us." | | | | 5. How could you act better? |
| - "You took your brother's teddy bear because you | | | | 6. - Listen carefully to his answer. |
| wanted him to cry." | | | | 7. - Repeat the question until the answer shows |
| - "You whined to be first because you only think about | | | | awareness of the other person. |
| yourself." | | | | 8. - Encourage him to apologize when appropriate. |
| First, let's find out why telling kids what they think | | | | The 2 key questions promote responsibility. To answer |
| doesn't help them see beyond the mirror. | | | | the questions, your child must reflect on his behavior. |
| Telling Kids Why They Act Selfishly Increases Their | | | | He'll go inside his head and realize other kids have |
| Stubbornness Because: | | | | feelings too. When he steps into their shoes, he'll feel |
| - You may be wrong. | | | | the pain he has caused them. Then he's in a better |
| - You are accusing them and they resent it. | | | | position to know how he can act better. |
| - You are making it harder for them to admit they | | | | Conclusion for Turning Your Kid into a Caring Child |
| were selfish. | | | | Can you see how these questions and this process |
| Research tells parents to appeal to their child's reason. | | | | build character? Yes, your child can feel regret for his |
| So what can you do? | | | | selfish actions. That's good. He's becoming a better |
| Ask, don't tell. | | | | person. He's turning his selfishness into caring. You |
| Get your child to reflect on his selfish behavior. Use the | | | | helped him put down the selfish mirror. Congratulate |
| 2 key questions below and make sure those questions | | | | yourself! You deserve it. |
| emphasize others' feelings and your child's better | | | | |