| What happens to discipline when your child argues | | | | repeats the language because parents modeled it. |
| with you? Does the discipline become a battle? Learn | | | | What to do: |
| 3 ways to model character and practice the winning | | | | Speak kindly and firmly with your child. Form a relaxed |
| formula for solving arguments. It's time you get the | | | | body language and speak in a civilized manner. You |
| respect you deserve. | | | | are the parent, the teacher, the model. |
| The Discipline Problem: Endless Arguing between You | | | | Second Parenting Tip - Listen Well and Speak Well |
| and Your Kids: | | | | 1.) Look into your child's eyes as he's speaking. |
| Arguing with kids is like a spinning top. It keeps spinning | | | | 2.) Give your child your full attention. |
| until you give up, tip over, and say, "Yes" when you | | | | 3.) Ask questions to show interest. |
| want to say, "No." | | | | 4.) Avoid interrupting. |
| Kids push arguments to senseless heights. Be rational | | | | 5.) Stay on the subject. |
| when they're not, otherwise your discipline will fail. | | | | Third Parenting Tip - The Rules and the Formula |
| They'll win. Why? Many kids argue louder and longer | | | | The Discipline Formula Rules: |
| than their parents. If this is the way your kids get what | | | | You'll need a timer and a coin. |
| they want, you can change it. | | | | Toss the coin to see who starts. |
| Let's look at 3 discipline solutions for ending arguments | | | | You can only speak when holding the coin. |
| and solving problems, but first let's look into your past. | | | | The first speaker, with coin in hand, can only speak for |
| Did You Argue with Your Parents? | | | | one minute. When done, the speaker gives the coin to |
| If so, did you win? Was it easier for them to give up | | | | the listener. |
| than to keep arguing? Was arguing the way you got | | | | Start the timer. |
| what you wanted? Do you remember telling your | | | | The Discipline Formula: |
| parents - | | | | After the listener receives the coin and before he |
| 1. You always say, "No!" | | | | starts to make his point, he must say in his own words |
| 2. You make me do everything! | | | | what he heard the speaker before him say. |
| 3. It isn't fair! | | | | He then asks, "Was I right?" If he wasn't, he must keep |
| Maybe you felt powerful, angry, or guilty. Perhaps you | | | | trying until he gets it right. Only when the listener |
| lost respect for your parents. Realize your kids feel | | | | repeats correctly can he become the speaker. |
| the same way. That's why you must stop the arguing. | | | | Then start the one minute timer. |
| You must stop the manipulation. You must find a | | | | Repeat this process until each person is ready to |
| different way to solve problems. | | | | make some positive commitments about the subject |
| First Parenting Tip - Model Respect and Character: | | | | of the argument. |
| Your voice, your body language, and your words have | | | | Write out the commitments with each person signing |
| the power to teach. | | | | his name next to his commitment. Post it on the |
| Some parents teach the following mistakes. Don't let | | | | refrigerator. |
| these mistakes be yours: | | | | Conclusion for Teaching your Kids How to Solve |
| 1.) Argue with a loud rough voice. The child learns to | | | | Arguments: |
| argue the same way because parents modeled the | | | | Stop spinning into endless arguments with your kids. |
| voice. | | | | You don't have to roll over and say "Yes" when you |
| 2.) Stand with stiff body language, pointing finger, and | | | | want to say, "No." Use the Winning Formula for Solving |
| angry face. The child learns to mimic the same stance | | | | Arguments. Model both respect and character. Listen |
| because parents modeled it. | | | | well and speak well. If you do, you'll both be getting the |
| 3.) Yell, name call, and use hurtful words. The child | | | | love and respect you each want. |