Communicating Expectations to a Child With ADHD

Parents often become extremely frustrated with theirchild.
child when they fail to live up to the parent'sChildren are not born with manners. They have to be
expectations. Parents may be come angry and puttaught, just as we were. The easiest, and probably
the fault of these unmet expectations on the shouldersmost effective way of teaching a behavior is by role
of the child. This is unfair because in most cases themodeling the desired behaviors ourselves. If you want
child was set up for failure. Not intentionally by anyto teach a child good manners, simply use them
means, it was probably the parent's inability toyourself. This type of teaching is great for children with
communicate the expectations clearly.behavior disorders. There is no lengthy list of directions.
Parents have to learn how to communicate just as aIt can be difficult to articulate behaviors into words.
child does. This may sound ridiculous, but as adults weWhen verbal communication is necessary, it must be
are accustomed to speaking to people who probablydelivered in a manner appropriate for the child's age
have the same goals and expectations as we do.and mentality. Give specific instructions related to the
When speaking to children, we have to remembertask. Do not leave the child with the task of deciding
they do not have our expansive vocabularies or lifewhat your instructions may have meant.
experiences to rely on. Children struggling withDo you want to learn exactly how to eliminate your
behavioral disorders are also faced with limitedchild's out-of-control and defiant behavior without using
attention spans and the inability to retain a lot ofPunishments, Time-Outs, Behavioral Plans, or
information. These situations need to be taken intoRewards?
consideration when a parent is communicating to the