Dealing with Early Teenage Behavior Problems

Parenting Questionconsidergoing on strike in a few areas of household
"My lovely, cheerful, ever-helpful 11-year-old daughterupkeep until she helps out. Myfavorite gone-on-strike
has recently turned intoinfluenced by her behavior.zone is making dinner: I refuse to no longer prepare
Now, every meal seems like a battleground. Theourevening meal without a child helping (they can take
11-year-old is usually making mean remarks andturns). Dinner can be agreat time when a family can
bossing everyone around. I try tobe patient, but it's verycome together to create a wonderful meal and
difficult!! She is also prone to raising her voicesharethe joys and challenges of their day.
andshouting at anything. Is this early teenage behavior2. Do your best to find out what's at the bottom of it!
problems and what can Ido??? "-- Mom Trying toRegardless if hormones play a part or not, it is
Cope with Early Teenage Behavior Problemsimportant to find out what'sgoing on for her. During a
Positive Parenting Tip for Early Teenage Behaviorquiet time (when no one is around) tell your
Problemsdaughteryou've noticed a change in her and that you
Dear Mom Dealing with Early Teenage Behaviorcan't imagine she is feeling veryhappy inside to be
Problems:lashing out at the people she loves. Ask her if this is
When your lovely sweet daughter has suddenlythecase. If she says "No", then ask her what is going
transformed into a bossytroublemaker and bringson and find out if there isany way you can support her.
down the entire family with the "adolescent blues", itisIf she is unresponsive, remain positive. Tell herthat,
important to remember that neither you, nor anywhen she figures it out or wants to talk about it, you
member of the household,needs to stand under herare there for herand that you trust she will work it out.
rain cloud. Here are a couple of ways to3. Don't stand for disrespect.
startexperiencing sunny skies again:It is completely fair to ignore teenagers with
1. Encourage her.aggressive behavior (eitherverbal or physical). Instead
One of my counseling mentors is the late Dr. Dreikurs.of screaming or raising your voice in response toan
He wisely stated that, "Amisbehaving child is aadolescent who is behaving inappropriately, reply in a
discouraged child." Notice the things your daughtercalm voice and saysomething like, "I can see you're
doesthat are helpful, the times that she is happy, andupset right now. When you're ready to talkabout it or
mention them to her. One ofthe best ways we canwant a hug, come find me." Then leave the room.
encourage children and teenagers is to have themDon't get intoscreaming matches--you will likely lose.
contributemore to the household. Consider having herThe main key is to love and support your child, and to
help out more. If she resists (andshe might especially ifnot allow early teenagebehavior problems to affect
she hasn't been doing much around the home),you emotionally.