| If you are dealing with a difficult, behavior defiant | | | | consider is that arguing with your teen is teaching them |
| teenager, life at home can be stressful and frustrating. | | | | that it is okay to do so themselves. If you simply avoid |
| Without a doubt, you have your hands full. Defiant | | | | arguing, they are going to learn to avoid it as well. The |
| children and teenagers require a relentless parent who | | | | result will be that you are helping them learn different |
| loves them enough to consistently work through the | | | | ways of dealing with a situation besides quarrelling. |
| issues that are causing stress in the family. But what | | | | The best thing to remember is that you cannot control |
| do you do when you just do not know what to do? | | | | the actions of your teenager, but you CAN control you. |
| My answer to that is learn...seek out help...find solutions. | | | | And by controlling yourself, you will be a powerful |
| That is your job as a parent; to work through things | | | | example of how to deal with anger or frustration in a |
| until it gets better. | | | | positive way. Children learn more by watching, than be |
| Although what you may be going through may require | | | | listening. Hence, you need to live according to what |
| you to learn new tips, techniques or ideas for making a | | | | you say. Model the behavior you expect out of them. |
| significant change in their behavior, there are still a few | | | | The next step will be to listen to them. When they are |
| things you can start with today. Every bit of effort you | | | | trying to start an argument, give them your undivided |
| put in to your child is worth it. Try some of what I | | | | attention. Hear everything they have to say. Listen |
| share today, but continue to educate yourself on what | | | | intently. This will speak volumes to them. You are |
| to do in different situations. There is always help to be | | | | showing them respect by giving them your full |
| found. Here is one change to begin with that will have | | | | attention. It shows them that you do indeed care about |
| a positive impact right away: Stop arguing with your | | | | how they feel and what they want to say, even if you |
| child. | | | | do not agree with it. When they are done, simply use |
| This may sound impossible to do because you have a | | | | their name, restate what they said, use the word |
| child who argues with you about everything and | | | | "AND" then tell them your answer. End of |
| anything, all of the time. But it is not. It is simply a choice. | | | | conversation. It is at that point you can excuse |
| Choose not to argue. | | | | yourself from the conversation and walk away. No |
| The first step is to be sure to do is to control yourself. | | | | anger or arguing or emotional outburst came out of |
| This includes your words, actions and attitude. Model | | | | you. However, your child was listened too with respect, |
| the behavior you expect from them. If you do not do | | | | and then given your answer. |
| this, arguments or even conversations will get out of | | | | It is simple in theory, but will take a commitment on |
| control with your teenager. They are going to push | | | | your part to follow through. You can do this. Try it for |
| you to try to get a reaction out of you. By controlling | | | | a while and note the changes you see in yourself, your |
| yourself, they will not get that reaction. Another thing to | | | | child and the general atmosphere of the household. |