| -- End Ad Box ---> | | | | become when you are clear and firm within yourself. |
| Children learn best by being given clear, firm and | | | | It is every child's right to KNOW they can trust their |
| consistent direction from parents who are clear, firm | | | | parent's boundaries. So firstly, become firm with your |
| and consistent in their approach. | | | | own boundaries and then apply this to your parenting |
| How to Discipline Children by Being Clear: | | | | discipline. |
| Firstly find and maintain clarity within yourself and then | | | | "It is bedtime, (bath time, meal time) in five minutes" is a |
| follow through on simple, clear instructions. Clarify for | | | | clear direction. Now follow through on this. |
| your self what being clear means. | | | | Giving the direction in a calm, clear, firm tone of voice |
| It is about being plain, obvious, and understandable in a | | | | helps your children to understand that you mean what |
| clear, short sentence that explains exactly what you | | | | you say. Being firm is about being in control of both |
| mean. | | | | yourself and the situation. |
| It isn't about maybe this or maybe that. | | | | How to Discipline Children by Being Consistent: |
| Often parents have no idea that they chop and | | | | Firstly find and maintain consistency for yourself and |
| change their minds within minutes. To become clear | | | | then follow through with a firm, clear, consistent |
| about your own patterns of behavior, observe yourself | | | | approach. |
| and ask for your partner's help in this. | | | | Clarify for yourself what being consistent means. |
| "We are going to tidy up your toys in five minutes", is | | | | To be consistent is to be reliable, dependable and |
| clear and direct. Follow this with, | | | | constant. |
| "Please help me tidy up your toys now" and it means | | | | These words immediately convey comfort don't they? |
| just that. | | | | Let's look at the opposite of being consistent. |
| Be firm with yourself about this. It doesn't mean soon, | | | | Contradictory, unpredictable, changeable. That's |
| or later, but now. | | | | definitely lacking in comfort and safety. |
| I have seen parents give out this simple instruction, then | | | | So how do you want to be seen by your children? |
| become distracted themselves by a television | | | | To begin with it can seem quite time consuming to |
| program, conversation or magazine. What their children | | | | concentrate on clear, firm, consistent guidelines. Be |
| observe is parents saying one thing and doing another | | | | aware that this is very true. It takes concentrated |
| and this gives a much distorted message. Multiplied | | | | effort and time to change old habits to new ones, but |
| over many times each day, is it any wonder that | | | | if you maintain consistency, you will be very surprised |
| children cease to follow simple instructions? | | | | how quickly new patterns of behavior are formed. |
| How to Discipline Children by Being Firm: | | | | Parenting Discipline In Summary: With parenting |
| Firstly find and maintain firmness for yourself and then | | | | discipline we are teaching our children how to have |
| follow through with firm clear directions in a firm, clear | | | | self control, self discipline and to become self reliant, so |
| tone. | | | | they are able to make good choices for themselves. |
| Clarify for your self what being firm means. | | | | The only way children can learn to do this is by being |
| To be firm is to be certain, definite, and determined. It is | | | | given the opportunities for this learning. |
| also being loving, kind and calm. | | | | This means not over protecting them, or doing |
| It means saying no and meaning no, or saying yes and | | | | everything for them, but maximizing their opportunities |
| meaning yes and sticking to it. It's about now being | | | | to learn through personal experience and observation, |
| now. How often does your no become perhaps, later, | | | | even when this means making mistakes. |
| maybe giving in, next time, soon, or alright then? This is | | | | Can you see the opportunities here to change some |
| a very common fault in how to discipline children and | | | | of your own patterns of behavior into superior ones? |
| again it leads to numerous mixed messages for | | | | Clear, firm, consistent parenting is quality parenting. You |
| children. | | | | learn to trust your own responses and your children |
| Resolve within yourself and with your partner's help to | | | | are surrounded by your loving constancy. |
| ascertain how often you are both easily swayed into | | | | This is the recipe for creating a happy, well adjusted |
| changing your decisions. Are you allowing your children | | | | family. |
| to manipulate you? Imagine how simple your life will | | | | |