| Can you build character with pressure? If your kids | | | | 2. How can I prevent my child from being anxious, |
| seem anxious, stressed, or stubborn, something's | | | | angry, or stubborn? |
| wrong. Look inside to find out if you're making this | | | | 3. How can I raise my child without pressure and build |
| discipline mistake and what to do about it. | | | | character too? |
| The Problem is Pressure: | | | | Second Parenting Tip - Appreciate |
| Pretend you have a daughter named Mary. Over time | | | | Develop an eye for appreciation. Instead of insisting |
| Mary resents your demands to get more A's, to do | | | | that your child do more, notice what she's already |
| more chores, to get out of bed in time for school. | | | | done. Drop the pressuring. Increase the motivation with |
| No matter how much you nag, yell, or threaten, she | | | | compliments. You could say: |
| won't cooperate. For her, your pressure is a vice | | | | 1. You've worked so hard on your homework, why |
| squeezing and flattening her desire to cooperate. She | | | | don't you take a break? |
| becomes resistant. | | | | 2. I enjoyed watching your face at baseball practice |
| You want to build character, but the problem is | | | | because you smiled, laughed, and encouraged your |
| pressure. | | | | team. |
| How Did Your Parents Discipline You? | | | | 3. Your room looks good, especially the way you |
| Perhaps your parents continually pressured you to do | | | | made your bed. |
| more. If so, did you go inside your head and think: | | | | There are parents who might ask, "Are you nuts?" To |
| 1. Nothing I do is good enough. | | | | them I'd answer, "If what you're doing is causing |
| 2. I wish she'd leave me alone. | | | | anxiety, anger, and resistance, what have you got to |
| 3. They're always on my back. | | | | lose? Why not practice these tips?" |
| Too much pressure can suffocate your child's desire | | | | Third Parenting Tip - Motivate |
| to achieve. | | | | 1. Share, read, and talk about inspiring stories of heroes. |
| Disciplining with Pressure - A True Story: | | | | Why stories? Lectures irritate and stories motivate. |
| I remember a boy who couldn't relax. His parents kept | | | | 2. Post an inspirational quote on the refrigerator each |
| pressuring him to accomplish more. | | | | week. Discuss it. Challenge each member of the family |
| He blushed when spoken to. He stuttered when | | | | to do something inspiring too. Make sure the challenge |
| answering. His eyes darted about like a nervous bird. | | | | is their choice. |
| He was the number one student, musician, and athlete. | | | | 3. At Sunday breakfast, ask each member of the |
| He tried hard and did well. But he never felt good | | | | family, "What did you do during the week that you're |
| enough. | | | | proud of?" |
| One day, when he was a teenager, he exploded. His | | | | Remind them, "It doesn't matter if you succeeded. It |
| family life changed; all closeness was gone. He left | | | | matters that you tried." You'll love what you hear. |
| home for good. | | | | Conclusion for Building Character without Pressure: |
| His case is extreme and points out what can happen | | | | You don't need to raise an anxious child. You don't |
| when we pressure too much. | | | | need to discipline with pressure. |
| If you demand too much of your children, how can you | | | | You can build character by improving your discipline, |
| discipline better and build character too? | | | | appreciating your child, and using inspirational stories. |
| 3 Parenting Tips for Building Character without | | | | Motivate your children to discuss what they're proud of |
| Pressure: | | | | too. |
| First Parenting Tip - Question Yourself | | | | If you do, you'll be raising a loving family. The kids will |
| 1. How is my child reacting to my demands? Notice his | | | | achieve and cooperate. One more thing, you'll be |
| body language and his words. | | | | raising children with character. |