| Parenting a toddler can be rewarding, of course. But | | | | quite simply. If I say, "don't think of a pink elephant!" your |
| there are times when the challenges seem to | | | | mind first has to imagine what it shouldn't be thinking of! |
| outweigh the rewards. If you are having difficulty with | | | | Instead, phrase your requests in the positive: "Play |
| child discipline issues, you may not need an entire | | | | nicely, now." or "Please only walk inside the house." or |
| parenting course. Just a few well-chosen words, | | | | a favorite in our house, "Use quiet steps." |
| delivered lovingly (but with a plan) can start to bring | | | | Offer choices, but choose your choices wisely! If you |
| your "terrible two" back to a "terrific toddler." | | | | say, "Why aren't you ready for bed?" you don't really |
| Use eye-contact and speak in a quiet, adult | | | | need the information "why." What you want is the |
| voice:When communicating, do so like you mean it! | | | | behavior. "Are you ready for bet yet?" has also |
| That doesn't mean yelling. Quite the opposite. How | | | | proved to be a non-starter where I live. Instead, |
| would you respond if someone told you to wash the | | | | "before you go to bed, let's brush your teeth and then |
| dishes, take a bath or go to bed...while watching the | | | | read a story together." The sequence: brush teeth, |
| game or working on the computer? Even though your | | | | story, bed, is implied, and "Let's" really leaves little room |
| child is only two, three, four or five years old, he or she | | | | for negotiation or nagging. |
| wants to be communicated with directly and lovingly. | | | | Change the focus! I used to not like this kind of |
| Just like we do. | | | | communication because it felt a bit like tricking my kids. |
| Try one word reminders instead of drawn-out nagging: | | | | However, if you see your toddler disintegrating into a |
| This works for husbands as well as kids...I should know. | | | | tantrum, you may best be able to defuse the situation |
| Instead of saying, "How many times do I have to tell | | | | by changing your child's mind. "I don't wanna go home!" |
| you to put your clothes in the dirty laundry basket? It's | | | | and a battle getting into the car-seat was turned into |
| not a hard thing to do! Everyone can do it! Why don't | | | | giggles with a simple, "Hey! look at that butterfly!" |
| you ever pick up your clothes?!" A simple, one word, | | | | Attention diverted, tantrum averted. Watch your own |
| "Clothes," is enough to remind the child (or husband, or | | | | kids too to see how they naturally change their moods |
| wife, or roommate...) what needs to be done without | | | | and states in the blink of an eye. |
| the rhetorical questioning ("how many times? do you | | | | Communicating with your own kids can be one of the |
| really want me to count?") or drama. | | | | best parts of your day, and one of the most |
| As a bonus, nagging goes down. Everyone happier. | | | | rewarding parts of parenthood. Using some simple |
| Avoid negative statements like "Don't..." , "Stop..." and | | | | parenting techniques which use advanced |
| "Quit..." Research has shown that all of us (toddlers, | | | | communication techniques, you can get back to |
| too) tend to "hear" only the end of such statements. | | | | enjoying good behavior and smooth communication |
| So when we say, "Stop teasing!" the brain hears, | | | | with your toddler. |
| "teasing!" You can see how this works for yourself | | | | |