Expressing Anger - Parenting Tip #1

Have you heard the expression, "To enjoy thestare at each other.
rainbow, you must endure the rain"? This can apply toThere was no need for me to get into a yelling match
raising children. Stop and think, are you enjoying the rainor argue with the boys. At that point, they were not
or just waiting for the rainbow?going to listen or take in what I had to say. My intent
My rainbow consists of four colors; red, orange /was to calm them, let their anger pass, and then the
yellow, green, blue. The oldest son is blue. Not athree of us would sit and talk through the situation.
depressed state of "blue", but because he is calm,I explained to them it is OK to be angry, but it is not
steady, and sensible. Son number two, is green. He isOK to hurt someone in the process. We talked about
green like spring, sprouting with new ideas, bright, andwhat led to the anger and appropriate ways to
fresh. Since he has served proudly for his country inexpress that anger. Next we devised a plan to share
the Army, let's add Army green with dedication, loyalty,the action figures.
and bravery. Next comes red, son number three isBeing mad because you cannot play with a certain toy
energetic, full of life, and eager to share his talents. Theis understandable for a child and it is our place, as
baby of the bunch is orange / yellow, a ray ofparents, to help them learn appropriate behavior when
sunshine and full of wit. To enjoy this rainbow, I haveangry.
stood in a hurricane force rain without an umbrella.- Explain acceptable behavior Respect yourself (don't
Children, I have decided, are God's blessing andhurt yourself) Respect others (don't hurt another
punishment.person) Respect the environment (don't destroy things
Each day with my colorful family is a new adventurearound you)
and a long time ago, I decided I was going to enjoy the- Explain acceptable ways to express anger Talk
journey not just the destination. Situations happen thatabout it. Crying is a good release of energy. Don't keep
we cannot avoid, but how we handle them is whatthis inside. It is good to let it out. Release the anger with
matters. Through research, experience, trial and error, Iphysical activity. riding a bike running around the
have learned how to handle difficult situations and stillbackyard hitting a punching bag (be specific about
be able to enjoy each day.what can be hit) cleaning your room
When the two oldest boys were about four and- Talk about what led up to the anger This is a good
seven years old, they were fighting over some actiontime to acknowledge the child has a right to feel angry.
figure. Not being in the room at the time, it was hard toTry to find a logical reason for the anger.
tell which one had started the argument. This did not- Make a plan Have a plan for the next time a similar
matter really since both were now equally involved insituation occurs. Being involved in making a plan helps
the scuffle. We had a 6 foot wide hall through thethe child feel empowered.
middle of our house and this was an excellent placeBeing a parent is not easy. Parenting is a learned skill.
for time out. I did not yell or try to accept theirThrough research and experiences of others, you can
arguments about who started "it". Instead, I calmlylearn this skill. I was determined to enjoy my family.
instructed one child to sit against one wall and straightThe early years were rough, there was not the
across from him, I sat the other child. They had to sitamount of quality information available that we have
still and look at each other during the time out. No timetoday. It is my hope you will start your search for
at all passed before they were laughing. The twoparenting methods that will work for your family. Don't
brothers could not stay mad when they had to sit andwaste a day - enjoy the rainbow - and the rain!