| It is very important that children contribute to the | | | | dinner, tonight before bed, or before soccer practice. |
| household. Not only does it send an important | | | | Don't demand, "Do it now." After all, we don't like it |
| message to our children - "You are a valuable | | | | when our bosses treat us like that! If the contribution is |
| member of this family and we count on you to make | | | | not done, then you say, "This is so sad. I'm going to |
| our family function" - but it gives them a sense of | | | | have to do something about this, but not now, later. Try |
| accomplishment and self-worth. Studies also show that | | | | not to worry." Then let the kids worry while you take |
| kids who contribute at home do better at school and | | | | time to come up with a plan for a logical consequence. |
| are more responsible with their homework. | | | | Should you pay them? |
| But how do we get our kids to help with chores | | | | Don't pay your children for their contributions to the |
| around the house? How do you get started? Do you | | | | household. You want the little voice in their sweet |
| pay them, and how much? These are all common | | | | heads to say, "I'm doing this because I'm a valuable |
| parenting questions that come up around the topics of | | | | member of the family," not, "I'm doing this because I'm |
| chores and allowances. | | | | getting 5 bucks!" |
| How do you get started? | | | | Should they get allowances? |
| Call a family meeting. Announce that you are going to | | | | Yes. Just like you give them books to practice reading, |
| talk about each family member's contributions. Start | | | | give them money to practice spending. Just don't tie |
| with Mom and Dad's roles. Ask, "Who is going to pay | | | | the allowance to their contributions. The general |
| the mortgage?" and write it down in Mom and Dad's | | | | guideline out there is $1 per year of age, so a |
| column. Then move on to who will pay the bills - | | | | 10-year-old child would get $10 a week. However, you |
| electric, gas, phone, cell phone, Internet, grocery, etc. | | | | should do what makes sense for you, the child, and |
| Continue by asking who will shop for food, prepare | | | | the family budget. Then, let them spend it as they |
| food, etc. Then, when the parents' list is nice and long, | | | | choose and pray they make some bad decisions and |
| ask, "Who could set the table? Clear the table? Unload | | | | buy things that break easily. Better they learn the |
| the dishwasher? Vacuum? Dust?" You will be | | | | lesson when the cost is low than later when the price |
| surprised with how willing the kids are to volunteer and | | | | could be significantly higher. |
| how they decide to split the shores up among the | | | | At what age can you begin? |
| siblings. | | | | Start when your toddler is 2-3 years old. That's the |
| One dad reported that his two boys, ages 6 and 9, | | | | age when you can form an association between the |
| argued about who got to take out the trash. "I should, | | | | job, fun, and you! Get the little guy to walk with his dad |
| I'm older." "No, I should because you have more chores | | | | as he takes out the trash. He gets a high five and a |
| than I do," said the younger. Another mom found out | | | | "good job" from Dad, and now he associates trash |
| that her 7-year-old daughter was upset that Mom got | | | | with love! At age 6-7, Dad can step out of the picture |
| a housekeeper, because she liked cleaning the | | | | and the child still has the job and the fun! |
| bathrooms! | | | | Parents who have tried the family meeting, |
| How do you implement? | | | | contributions, deadlines and allowances report amazing |
| One of the Love and Logic® parenting strategies | | | | stories of participation and cooperation. Isn't it at least |
| that I teach goes something like this: Ask your kids to | | | | worth an experiment to see if these steps will get |
| have their chore done by a specific deadline, like Friday | | | | your kids to do the dishes? |