| Spare the rod and spoil the child. We've all heard this | | | | rules of the game in the middle of the game is simply |
| saying, and people often misuse it when they try to | | | | confusing to everyone involved. |
| defend their disciplinary methods, but contrary to what | | | | Of course all behavior cannot be covered in general |
| you may have been led to believe, it does not mean to | | | | rules of the house, so there has to be some general |
| use force on children. So what should you do to instill | | | | knowledge of "and other circumstances that may |
| discipline and self control in your children? | | | | have not been specifically covered." Consequences |
| First to address "spare the rod." The rod in question | | | | can be pretty standard and severity of consequences |
| isn't even from the Christian bible, but was written | | | | needs to fit the circumstance. As Tony Beretta said, |
| about much later (the 1800's actually) and yes, that | | | | "don't do the crime, if you can't do the time." A simple |
| saying does reflect Biblical teachings, but was | | | | four tier consequence system seems to generally |
| misinterpreted. The "rod" was used by shepherds to | | | | work well. |
| guide their flock and that should be what is done: | | | | Grounding, grounding without 'screens', grounding |
| Guidance. | | | | without screens or communication, and you are |
| Guidance means having set rules and consequences | | | | grounded to your room and can only twiddle your |
| for children and teens. The other old saying, "not as | | | | thumbs for entertainment. We have found that the |
| long as you live under this roof" is very valid and | | | | threat of 'no screens' (meaning computer, TV, video) is |
| hopefully the guidance given prior to the exodus will | | | | taken pretty seriously since this generation seems |
| provide them with standards to live by. Rules and | | | | regularly glued to screens. |
| consequences, not rules and punishments. There is a | | | | It's impossible to cover discipline in one short article, but |
| difference. | | | | hopefully this gives you a basis for what you want to |
| Setting up known consequences for bad behavior | | | | do. Physical punishment generally sends the message |
| should be the standard in any household, and the real | | | | that it's OK to hit if you have a reason. Firm, fair and |
| 'secret' is to enforce the consequences and not be | | | | consistent parents are the ones who get respect from |
| wishy washy about that enforcement. Changing the | | | | their offspring. |