| When you are looking at extinguishing established | | | | the good kids, “I like the way you are sitting on the |
| negative behavior, rather than punishing children, you | | | | mat. I like the way you are sitting so quietly.” To a |
| can instead remove them from the situation where | | | | large degree, you should not even address the poorly |
| they want to be. | | | | behaved child, since that attention promote more of |
| Whether you are at the mall, the store, the car, or at | | | | the bad behavior. Focus your attention on what the |
| the gym, parents are encouraged to take their child | | | | other children are doing right. |
| who is not behaving appropriately to a lobby or other | | | | Use the minute per year rule: When it comes to time |
| room, where they can still watch what is going but are | | | | out, parents should stick to the rule of putting children in |
| not able to participate. Or worse yet, at My Gym, | | | | time out for each year. So a two-year-old would |
| parents can take their child to a room where they can | | | | never stay in time out for longer than two minutes, for |
| shut the door, watch through the mirror glass, but the | | | | example, while a five-year-old would be there for five |
| child is really starting to feel quarantined or isolated. | | | | minutes. Any longer, and the child likely will not |
| Additionally, short consequences work better with | | | | understand what they did wrong in the first place. |
| younger children than longer consequences. For | | | | Have a time out place: When you are at home, it is a |
| example, time out is basically a minute a year. For a | | | | good idea to have a time out place where you are |
| three-year-old, time outs that are more than three | | | | going to have a place to sit—many people do it on |
| minutes are not as effective as time outs under three | | | | the stars. You can also have an egg timer. |
| minutes. | | | | Ask them to explain: As they get a little older, the next |
| Another option parents have is to remove their child | | | | level up is to ask your child to explain what he or she |
| for something like 30 seconds, let him ocalm down, and | | | | did wrong. Once they can be calm, accept the |
| then re-enter the original environment after talking | | | | consequences, explain what they did, and agree not to |
| about what behaviors are going to be expected. After | | | | do it again then you can acknowledge it and move on |
| going back in, if everything is good, then that’s | | | | with life. |
| great. If the negative behavior appears again, then the | | | | Common Mistakes |
| parents can once again try going outside with the | | | | A common mistake many parents make is that they |
| child—possibly for a little longer this time—before | | | | want to be their child’s friend instead of their |
| trying the situation again. If you haul them out for 10, 15, | | | | child’s mother of father. Kids need parents. There |
| 20 minutes it just gets to be so negative they lost sight | | | | are going to be lots of friends, lots of uncles, lots of |
| of whatever they did 20 minutes ago. They are three | | | | aunts, all the neighbors. But they need parents who are |
| years old—it is over. | | | | going to be able to provide them the security of a |
| Here are some tips for parents: | | | | consistent structure in their life in order to achieve |
| Do it immediately: Hopefully you are going to be able to | | | | success. |
| physically start to remove them while they are doing | | | | In addition, children are calmer and more comfortable |
| the negative behavior, rather than waiting until later to | | | | when they know their limits. Healthy parents set the |
| discipline. | | | | parameters for their children and their children become |
| Talk about what you want to see happening: | | | | secure and know that they don’t have to put their |
| Communicate with your child about exactly what type | | | | energy into testing the limits. Instead, they can put their |
| of behavior is expected. At My Gym, we have a time | | | | energy into more positive behaviors. |
| when we all sit on maps. I always take the time to tell | | | | |