| Life is not a bed of roses and, sometimes, neither is | | | | marriage counseling that may last 3-6 months |
| marriage. After the flowers and chocolates of the | | | | depending on how grave your situation is. |
| courtship days, the "I love you's" of the engagement | | | | The best thing to do is know if your partner is willing to |
| and the "I do's and till death do us part' in marriage, the | | | | do this with you not because you force it out of him |
| reality of a relationship begins. The light of the romance | | | | but because both of you want to make your marriage |
| and passion have started to flicker and the illusions of | | | | work. Never go to a counselor if one of you has |
| living happily ever after fade away. I only heard about | | | | already decided to call it quit. |
| this illusion coming into real life in fairy tales and authors | | | | Review the following steps below to guide you on |
| have already earned on that. | | | | your steps to planning your counseling right: |
| Reality is back and it is the start of a much more | | | | 1. If you are on the lookout for a counselor, be sure to |
| complicated and many see it as a boring married life. | | | | know where to find him. Ask for credible sources like |
| This is where small, slightly bigger and extreme | | | | your physician or married friends who are into |
| conflicts began due to differences in personality of | | | | counseling themselves. Get a referral. |
| both people once in love. Not saying that they are not. | | | | 2. Before meeting with your counselor, make a short |
| After all, they have to be congratulated even more | | | | phone call to his office and ask a few relevant |
| once they felt that the after effect of romance | | | | questions for you. It is not always that you can talk to |
| started to fade, this is where love can be seen and | | | | the counselor right ahead. But you also have to |
| measured because love is more than just a feeling but | | | | respect his policy. If his policies do not appeal to you, |
| rather it is a decision. It is easy to say you love | | | | you can always scout for another. |
| someone once the feeling is high. But if the feeling is no | | | | 3. If you are able to come up with a short list of names |
| longer there, you decide to love. | | | | counselors from your referrals, take the consultation to |
| There is lot of help being offered right now by | | | | a new level. It is time to pay each one a visit and ask |
| agencies on how to save marriages especially if | | | | them some relevant questions like background, |
| conflicts are new and can easily be repaired. Marriage | | | | experience and expertise. You will also be able to |
| and Family Counseling for example is gaining popularity | | | | know if you feel comfortable with him and revealing |
| among married couples seeking help for resolutions in | | | | personal information about your married life. |
| their problems such as: | | | | 4. This initial consultation appointment will set the ground |
| - infidelity | | | | for the counselor and you and your husband as a |
| - loss of family member | | | | couple. Ask your questions and try to feel the |
| - communication problems | | | | therapist's style, orientation and personality. |
| - balancing the demands of home and work | | | | 5. Be an observer during the first meeting. Be intuned |
| - childhood traumas | | | | with your opinions and gut feel. Remember, this is a |
| - family violence | | | | person whom you are supposed to trust. Establish that |
| - substance abuse | | | | trust or look elsewhere for another counselor. |
| - step-parenting problems | | | | 6. Always remember to ask your potential counselor |
| - school problems | | | | with the question, "have you ever been into extensive |
| - conflicts in remarriage families | | | | personal therapy" instead. You would not like someone |
| The most common misconception is that counseling is | | | | who preach and preach but cannot apply them into |
| only for families that encounter difficulties but | | | | actions. |
| counseling can also be a way to enhance relationships | | | | 7. Always go with your husband to the scheduled |
| within the families. You can go to counselor and ask | | | | appointment with your counselor to have an even |
| him to give you some suggestion on how to learn | | | | playing ground. |
| effective communication skills, assertiveness, conflict | | | | 8. Focus on learning about yourself during the |
| resolution and time management. | | | | counseling so that you can apply some changes to |
| You can find Marriage and Family Counseling services | | | | your behavior that sometimes you are no longer |
| being offered in different settings like community | | | | aware of. |
| mental health agencies, hospitals, managed care | | | | 9. If there are assignments given to you by the |
| organizations, houses of worship, employee assistance | | | | counselor, be committed by taking time and effort to |
| programs and independent practice. They offer a wide | | | | do it and apply them to your behavior. Work this thing |
| array of services such as: | | | | out. |
| - crisis management | | | | 10. Always jot down notes in your notebook about |
| - prevention programs and parent education programs | | | | questions, issues you would like to discuss with your |
| - assessment and diagnosis | | | | counselor. This will help you to get organized and |
| - individual couples and family counseling | | | | focused on issues you wanted to resolve with your |
| - multi-couple or multi-family counselor | | | | partner. |
| If you are inclined to get the services of a marriage | | | | Follow these ten suggestions and never go wrong in |
| and family counselor, be sure that you get the most | | | | your counseling. Try to keep your marriage strong |
| value for your time and money. Every couple spends | | | | amidst the swarm of divorce cases. Find solutions to |
| at least $95-$200 a session per week. This a whole | | | | issues that are just beginning and you will see how |
| lot of money combined if you intend to get an intensive | | | | your marriage works miracles. |