| A few home truths about how children and sibling | | | | may need all of your resources. It takes an effort and |
| rivalry. | | | | practice but once you see how this works you will |
| Your child's destructive behavior is not going to | | | | notice that the children will start managing their own |
| magically vanish on its own! In fact it is just going to get | | | | troubles. Your family will be learning life lessons |
| worse with time. Children do not grow out of this type | | | | concerning how to manage conflict plus how to |
| of behavior (that is one of the reasons why drug | | | | manage displeasing circumstances. |
| abuse is so frequent in teenagers). If your child's | | | | It works so give it a try. |
| behavior is annoying right now, wait until they are older, | | | | This does not work for every situation, but it does |
| it can get very destructive and dangerous. | | | | work nearly all of the time. For other situations, have |
| Today we will examine Sibling Rivalry and discover | | | | your children make a few rules that are likely to help |
| some suggestions to help you handle this type of | | | | them deal with other problems that come up. For my |
| conduct. | | | | children, they had an issue of privacy of their |
| If you have more than one child, chances are they | | | | bedrooms, and hated when brothers or sisters get into |
| fight with one another. Sibling rivalry is a normal part of | | | | their belongings or went into their rooms uninvited. My |
| any family. We have five children and there is a fair | | | | resolution to this was to have the children talk about |
| amount of competition for everything. For example, | | | | what is acceptable and what is not. They |
| who has the most ice cream, who got the best | | | | consequently have set a rule, they all agreed to, that |
| Birthday present or party, and who gets the most hugs | | | | you have to ask permission to go into a sibling's bed |
| from the parents. I really don't quite enjoy the last one | | | | room. |
| unless they are all trying to get their cuddles at the | | | | Sibling rivalry is something that never goes away, but if |
| same time which can be a struggle. There are some | | | | you educate your family to manage their own battles, |
| goods ways to manage this type of situation, and my | | | | you are making a more positive child and one that will |
| favorite way of dealing with this is called Passive | | | | get along better with other people in the long run. |
| Parenting. | | | | There are numerous suggestions and proved methods |
| This is how Passive Parenting works. | | | | to manage all childhood behavioral problems. We all |
| Number one, make some ground rules for tattletale's | | | | know that behaviors get worse when ignored and as |
| or dobbing as it has been labeled in our home. With our | | | | parents it is our responsibility to coach the next |
| children, when they were young we told them to come | | | | generation to take over where we left off. |
| tell a parent if someone is hurting you, if they are hurt | | | | There are some other points that are essential. |
| themselves, or if someone is being harmful or | | | | This is good advice and has worked well for many |
| damaging like breaking some one elses property. If | | | | families however, the above information is useless if |
| they tattletale or dob for something else, they get into | | | | you do not follow the two key points of parenting. |
| trouble themselves. | | | | These two points are crucial and any parent who |
| Make a statement but do not get involved. | | | | does not know how to apply these points will be |
| When your child comes to you and complains | | | | fighting an up hill battle. What are they? |
| concerning something a sibling is doing, pay attention to | | | | First ask yourself these questions. |
| them, and then say something like, "I bet you hate that." | | | | - What would bring peace and happiness in to your |
| "That's not very fun." "That really bites." Make it a | | | | family? |
| statement that you can use for any situation. The trick | | | | - How would you feel if, by the finish of today, you |
| is not to offer strategies to fix it, just present your | | | | could understand exactly how to stop your child's |
| statement. If they recap the problem, repeat your | | | | whining, hitting and aggression as well as many of the |
| answer. It will likely frustrate them initially, but they will | | | | other behavioral problems causing havoc in your |
| learn to resolve their own problems. By presenting a | | | | family? |
| remark you illustrate that you have acknowledged their | | | | - Would that make life a lot easier for you? |
| trouble but made it clear that you are not going to | | | | There are many great solutions that work very well |
| react. | | | | for many parents, do not ever give up hope, there is |
| It is sometimes difficult not to "buy into" their disputes | | | | always and answer to your problem. When you have |
| but for the dad and mom what does it really | | | | decided that it is Time 2 Take Control of your |
| accomplish? Children can be worst enemies one | | | | parenting there is help, advice and helpful suggestions |
| minute and great friends the next. My advice is to | | | | available. |
| keep your energy for the teen years, that is when you | | | | |