| Recently, a well-known, national, conservative, radio | | | | have a lasting effect on their child. |
| talk show host had a discussion about parenting | | | | One mother wrote about how frightened she was for |
| coaches. (A parenting coach is a consultant who is | | | | her unborn baby when the ultrasound showed a "low |
| hired to discuss and advise parents about how to deal | | | | normal" reading of her amniotic fluid. Another |
| with the many challenges that parents face as they | | | | mother-to-be was told that one of her baby's kidneys |
| guide their children through childhood.) | | | | was (although within normal range) slightly larger than |
| Far from being supportive, this radio talk show host | | | | the other. Both babies were born completely normal |
| suggested that parents were resorting to using | | | | but their mothers started their parenting journeys |
| parenting coaches because they did not want to | | | | "on-alert". Before their babies were even born, these |
| spend enough time with their children. She | | | | poor moms spent countless hours on the internet |
| hypothesized that parents wanted a parenting shortcut | | | | researching all of the potential problems that their |
| so that their children could take a back seat to their | | | | babies could face. |
| careers. "Back in the day," she stated, parents just | | | | Parents choose to use parenting tools, parenting aids, |
| raised their children and their children listened and | | | | parenting coaches, family counselors and parenting |
| developed into great people. It was clear from her | | | | books because they feel enormously committed to |
| disparaging comments and her insensitive insights that | | | | and responsible for raising the next generation of |
| she is not a mother facing today's challenges. | | | | adults and fearful that they could make a terrible |
| This commentator, although not particularly sensitive to | | | | mistake and hurt the precious life to whom they are |
| the feelings of parents, did make one interesting point. | | | | responsible. |
| Parenting coaches and other supports are a new | | | | With the advent of the informational-technology age, |
| phenomenon that past generations of parents did not | | | | parents have been barraged with parenting content. |
| have as a resource. | | | | Many well informed parents, parent self-consciously |
| Why do parents today feel the need for outside | | | | and without confidence, worried that any slip-up will do |
| assistance? | | | | irrevocable damage to their kids. One mother in the |
| In an informal survey completed by parents, mothers | | | | survey, apologized repeatedly to her child after yelling |
| and fathers expressed great concern about making | | | | at him to stop hitting the dog with a toy, she wrote that |
| parenting mistakes. | | | | she was very worried that she had broken her son's |
| - "If I don't parent correctly I will cause irreparable | | | | trust in her. |
| damage to my children." | | | | Do parents have cause for alarm? If a kind and caring |
| - "If I make the wrong parenting decisions my child will | | | | parent makes some parenting missteps will the child |
| end up on drugs." | | | | suffer irreparable harm? |
| - "If I lose my temper my child will never forget it, and | | | | One father answers with insight, "As parents we have |
| hate me forever." | | | | to have faith that our child rearing instincts are right on. |
| - "If I discipline too harshly I will damage my child | | | | Will we make parenting mistakes? Of course, but our |
| psychologically." | | | | children are resilient and will be fine." |
| Today, with the huge amount of information available | | | | Contrary to what the radio personality believes, it is not |
| to parents, even discussing pediatric health concerns | | | | a bad thing for parents to use the resources that are |
| before conception, parents feel an overwhelming | | | | available to them. From behavioral products and |
| responsibility that parents of yesteryear were not | | | | parenting aids, to parenting coaches and parenting |
| burdened with. With access to the internet parents are | | | | websites, there are terrific resources available to |
| bombarded with data. From ADHD to potty training, | | | | support parents in their goal to raise great people. |
| parents are overly informed about all of the issues of | | | | Parents should not let the large amounts of parenting |
| parenting. Any small symptom that a child exhibits can | | | | information intimidate them. While some information can |
| be dissected and attributed to a terrible malady. | | | | be helpful and empowering, too much information can |
| The massive amount of information that parents take | | | | be scary and can take the joy out of parenting. |
| in, much of it contradictory, undermines parent | | | | Resources like parenting coaches should be used as a |
| confidence and causes them to second guess their | | | | support not a crutch that usurps their own ideas and |
| decisions. Parents can feel an undo amount of stress | | | | parenting styles. Similarly parents should remember |
| and anxiety resulting from the vast amount of | | | | that these resources are aids and should not be used |
| research they now do on parenting issues. Far from | | | | to replace time parenting. Parents should listen to their |
| looking for shortcuts as the talk show host surmised, | | | | internal voice and be confident that the decisions that |
| parents are hyper-vigilant about getting the parenting | | | | they make will most likely be good ones and that |
| job done perfectly and raising happy and successful | | | | parenting with love and intellect will help them in their |
| children. Every decision made is a crucial one that will | | | | quest to raise kind and caring adults. |