Marriage Dealing through contingency

This method works no matter what type of crisis theregular daily upkeep of the home.
couple is hit with, whether it is a death or illness in the- Do not expect your spouse to pick up your slack as
family, a natural disaster, trouble with the law, problemsfar as everyday life activites go; instead, consider hiring
with children, or some other type of issue.outside help or asking friends for assistance.  By not
How can couples deal with a critical juncture in theirplacing extra work on your spouse, the difficult period
marriage?  The basic method involves having a planin your life will likely be less traumatic because you will
in place ahead of time, before such an eventualitybe able to rely on your spouse for support.
occurs.  In other words, the couple needs to know- Make sure that you are communicating well with
how to handle an emergency or urgent problemyour spouse.  Do not use harsh language when
before any type of predicament happens.  Thespeaking; rather, use calm, patient wording.  Speak to
tactics outlined below will suffice for most couples inyour spouse as you would like your spouse to speak
working out most any type of critical situation.  Byto you.  Without good, strong communication, a
following these suggestions, couples should be able tomarriage crisis can turn into material for a divorce--and
deal with any marriage crisis as it arises.this is definitely not what anyone wants.  So, be
- Do not blame each other for the circumstances oropen-minded when having discussions and be sure to
situation that you are in.  Blaming does not solvelisten to your spouse's point of view.  Above all else,
anything, and it could make things worse as it canbe able to forgive and move on if there are any issues
increase hostility between the two of you.  Instead, bewith miscommunication.
in control of your own actions and be supportive of- Approach the situation together. A marriage in crisis
your spouse's needs.is a problem for the couple, not for one spouse or the
- Try to lower your expectations of how everyday lifeother; therefore, both people in the marriage need to
should function when dealing with a marriagework together in order to be able to get past the
predicament.  For example, you may need to eattrauma.  Working together can mean facing the
meals out more often rather than cooking at home asproblem as one or it can mean getting therapy as a
you usually would.  Or, you may have to let thecouple; this will depend upon the exact crisis that the
housekeeping slide if there isn't time to handle thecouple is having.