| It is hard to say "no" to your kids and with out of | | | | over-stimulated, he will seem like one of those out of |
| control kids it is even harder. It's also hard to follow | | | | control kids. And, thus, they have a very hard time |
| through. It's kind of a knee jerk reaction. So then you | | | | following directions. The best thing to do here is give |
| are backed into a corner. You have to stick with your | | | | them a 5-minute break. Then give them a chance to |
| "no" and that is where the trouble begins. | | | | do what they were asked. If they aren't able, give |
| Let's go through this slowly. First, you have said no to | | | | them a few more minutes in the room to calm down. |
| your problem child. Next question, you got it, 'why'? A | | | | 3. Do not let them turn you around. If you have fairly |
| brief explanation is all you need. If you start | | | | given your child a brief explanation and he starts to |
| overexplaining, you are handing the power over to | | | | argue, the absolute thing to do is say "No, I am not |
| them. That is what a defiant child wants - power. And | | | | going to discuss this any further". Then walk away. DO |
| it is an easy road to go down, because we think it is | | | | NOT TURN AROUND. If you do, you give him the |
| best to get them to understand and then they will be | | | | power to turn you around every time. |
| okay with your answer. | | | | 4. Tell your child the new rules. The best time to |
| But they don't get okay with the answer. What | | | | explain the new "no" rules to your child is when |
| happens is you end up compromising. And then you | | | | everything is calm. Tell them 'no means no'. Help them |
| start changing the rules. And when you do this, you are | | | | come up with some coping skills if no is a word that |
| training your kiddo to not accept no for an answer. | | | | frustrates them. |
| This is not good for a struggling teen. | | | | 5. Remember these 3 Parenting Roles: Teacher, |
| And if you play this out, he not only is being trained to | | | | Coach and Limit Setter. All 3 of these roles are vital. |
| take no for an answer, you are rewarding him too. | | | | The first 2 lead up to being able to effortlessly do the |
| Yep, if he makes you change the rules to what he | | | | 3rd. A side note, not one of these roles is friend. We |
| wants, he gets what he wants! Thus the reward. Here | | | | are, however, to be friendly and show positive feelings |
| are 5 helping steps to sticking to your no. | | | | to them. |
| | | | That is the basic rundown. Hopefully, you will get a |
| 1. Establish your authority early on. Start setting limits | | | | jump start on your children discipline at an early age, so |
| very early in life. This includes good structure too. Like | | | | you do not have to face child behavior problems. |
| holding your 3 yr. old child's hand when crossing the | | | | Remember, if you let them get away with not taking |
| street. This is your foundation. | | | | no for answer as children, they'll do it as adults. This will |
| 2. Watch for over-stimulation. If your child is | | | | lead to problems in relationships. |