| Many years ago, after I had my first child, a man who | | | | was 180 degrees the opposite. I was once busy |
| was much older an more experienced than me gave | | | | writing and he came in the room to tell me of a |
| me this parenting tip; to create a good relationship with | | | | difficulty that his friend was going through. I told him, |
| your children ask them lots of questions and listen | | | | "Ellie, I'm a little busy now. Can we speak later?" He |
| intently when they answer you. Many years later (27) | | | | was insulted and said to me, "Daddy, you don't care |
| and many children later (I have 12 children) I learned | | | | about my friends?"! I learned my lesson; with him I have |
| that even though this sounds like good advice it for | | | | to ask him about every facet of his life. |
| sure isn't always true. | | | | This strategy worked well with him and today, many |
| For instance, when one of my oldest children was 14 | | | | years later, we have a beautiful relationship. We |
| or 15 years old, I asked him the mild, casual, and | | | | confide in each other and he also helps me, my wife, |
| matter-of-fact question, "How was school today?" I | | | | and the whole family any way that he can. |
| don't think that I'll ever forget his answer. He borderline | | | | The point here is that EVERY child is different and that |
| yelled at me, "Why do you have to know everything? | | | | the way to connect with them is also different. Don't |
| Why are you prying into my life?"! I was literally | | | | blindly follow some packaged parenting tip that worked |
| stunned but I learned my lesson; the way to connect | | | | for someone, no matter how smart and experienced |
| with this boy is by NOT asking questions. | | | | they are, and their children. To really connect with |
| This strategy worked well with him and today, many | | | | YOUR child, YOUR spouse or with anyone, you have |
| years later, we have a beautiful relationship. We | | | | to first hear the way that they want to hear from you. |
| confide in each other and he helps me, my wife, and | | | | If you follow this simple parenting tip I'm sure that will |
| the whole family any way that he can. | | | | enjoy a great relationship with your children, your |
| I have another son who, when he was a teenager, | | | | spouse and with everyone around you. |