| Parents should ask themselves four questions when | | | | What kind of relationship do I have with my teenager? |
| deciding if and when to get involved with the goings-on | | | | When parents and caregivers are fairly confident that |
| of their teenager. Psychologist Dr. Thomas W. Phelan | | | | their relationship with their teen is authentic and healthy, |
| suggests that a way to answer the parenting | | | | they can expect that their teen will rely on them if a |
| questions, "When do I need to get involved and when | | | | problem arises. If for some reason, the relationship |
| do I need to let go?" is for parents and caregivers to | | | | between parent and teen has been strained or |
| consider the following. | | | | damaged, a parent may need to be more vigilant in |
| How serious is the problem? Some problems are | | | | watching for serious or dangerous behaviors. |
| minor but aggravating, and lots of annoying behavior | | | | What shape am I in? How stressed am I? When |
| from a teenager is normal. Parents can be in a better | | | | parents and caregivers of teens feel constantly |
| position to choose to ignore the situation or perhaps | | | | stressed, overwhelmed, disengaged or distracted, they |
| modify the intensity of their response. If a problem | | | | are less likely to understand their teenager. If they |
| seems serious or dangerous, immediate parental | | | | have unmet needs, parents and caregivers will find it |
| intervention may be necessary. | | | | difficult to have the patience and focus to effectively |
| What kind of teenager is this? By understanding a | | | | relate with their teen. |
| teenager's temperament and personality, parents and | | | | Knowing when to get involved and when to let go will |
| caregivers can better assess how serious a problem | | | | help parents and caregivers provide their teenagers |
| may be for that teen. For example, a naturally | | | | with the self esteem and relationship building that will |
| slow-to-warm, cautious teen who suddenly is taking | | | | help them endure the challenges of being a teenager. |
| lots of risks may need a parent to step in. | | | | |