Raising Angry Kids

Right from childhood, it is ingrained in us not to vent ourbehavior and how to deal with it.
anger, especially in public. However real the cause forMany things can lead a child to behave inappropriately
anger, as children we were encouraged to avoidor act harshly toward others. He may be frustrated,
displaying it, or risk being chastised. Sometimes, as asad, overwhelmed, or his feelings may have been hurt.
parent now, you deal with your angry, hostile child byThe anger may arise from family problems (like
getting angry yourself. At times you may even applydivorce, alcoholism, abuse), social problems (banter
unreasonable punishments because of your emotionalfrom peers), school problems (learning difficulties, low
state. You are responding to anger with anger, andgrades), or internal problems (depression). The anger
then feeling guilty about it later. Normally an angry childcould be a reaction to stress in the family, or it could
is most likely to respond negatively if you deal with himbe his way of getting what he wants.
sternly.Maybe you feel (or hope) your child's antagonized
You have surely witnessed this. The moody toddlerbehavior is just a phase that will somehow disappear
whose uncalled-for tantrums leave her hopelessin time. Unfortunately, this is unlikely to happen. In my
parents scrambling to pacify her; the dominatingown experience anger is an emotion that usually
preschooler who never discovered how to share toysintensifies over time. Not paying attention to this can
or get acquainted with other children or strangerslead to bigger problems, and even violence. It can be a
socially; the brooding teen who deems any request asconsuming force within your family that harms
the world war of wills; the bully whose rage andeveryone, including your child. For this reason, it's crucial
destructive behavior make him feared, friendless, andthat you deal with anger as early as possible and set
miserably alone. Many of these children have all thethe rules for change at once.
comforts they require. They live in caring, loving homes,Keep in mind that the darkness that seems to be
yet for some baffling reason they feel and trulyfloating around you and your family is not a figment of
believe that most of the things that happen to themyour imagination. Rage takes a heavy toll on
are simply unjust. They start their day angry, and caneverybody who surrounds your child, luckily, once
explode into an all-out rage over little setbacks orunderstood, this behavior of the angry child can be
imagined offenses. These are children who are so fullreplaced with more favorable and pleasant behaviors.
of rage that has no apparent or distinct cause.There are plenty of great parenting resources that
For you, as a parent, one of the most distressing thingsyou can take advantage of to learn how to achieve
to deal with is an angry, aggressive child. It wears youthese pleasant outcomes, and change the interaction
out mentally, and is emotionally agonizing. Worse yet,of your family permanently.
you are baffled by the cause of such destructive