| “I WAS 19 years old, living far away from any | | | | nourishment to grow up strong and healthy, so young |
| family members, and totally unprepared,” says | | | | minds and hearts need instruction. If your children do |
| Ruth of her first pregnancy. An only child herself, she | | | | not learn moral values from you at home, they will likely |
| had not given much thought to being a parent. Where | | | | adopt the views of their schoolmates and teachers or |
| could she go for reliable advice? | | | | those of the mass media. |
| Jan, on the other hand, now a father of two grown | | | | The Bible can help parents to teach their children how |
| children, remembers: “I was very confident at | | | | to distinguish right from wrong. (2 Timothy 3:16, 17) Jeff, |
| first. But it didn’t take me long to realize that I | | | | an experienced Christian elder who has raised two |
| was lacking in practical knowledge.” Whether | | | | children, recommends using the Bible to teach children |
| parents start out feeling lost or they get lost along the | | | | proper values. He says: “Using the Bible helps |
| way, where can they find help to rear their children? | | | | children realize how the Creator feels about a matter, |
| The ultimate Source of advice on raising children is | | | | not just Mom and Dad. What we noticed is the |
| Jehovah God, the Originator of the family. (Ephesians | | | | Bible’s unique effect on the mind and heart. To |
| 3:15) He is the only real expert. In his Word, the Bible, he | | | | address wrong conduct or thinking, we took the time |
| provides reliable, practical instruction that really works. | | | | to find an appropriate scripture. Then, in a private |
| (Psalm 32:8; Isaiah 48:17, 18) It is up to us, though, to | | | | location, we let the child read the text. Often the result |
| apply it. | | | | was a tear or even tears streaming down the cheeks. |
| Several couples were asked to share what they had | | | | We were amazed. The Bible had greater impact than |
| learned while raising their children to be well-adjusted | | | | anything we could have thought to say or do.” |
| and God-fearing adults. Their success, they said, was | | | | Hebrews 4:12 explains: “The word of God is |
| primarily a result of applying Bible principles. They found | | | | alive and exerts power . . . and is able to discern |
| that the Bible’s advice is as reliable today as it | | | | thoughts and intentions of the heart.” The |
| was when the Bible was first written. Spend Time | | | | message of the Bible is therefore not merely the |
| With Them | | | | personal views or experiences of the humans whom |
| When Catherine, a mother of two, was asked what | | | | God used as his penmen. Rather, it represents |
| advice was most helpful to her, she immediately | | | | God’s thinking on moral matters. This sets it |
| referred to Deuteronomy 6:7. That verse says: | | | | apart from all other advice. By using the Bible to teach |
| “You must inculcate [Bible principles] in your son | | | | your children, you are helping them to have |
| and speak of them when you sit in your house and | | | | God’s mind on matters. Your training has |
| when you walk on the road and when you lie down | | | | greater weight, and you have a better chance of |
| and when you get up.” Catherine realized that | | | | reaching your child’s heart. |
| to follow that counsel, she would have to spend time | | | | Catherine, mentioned earlier, agrees. She says: |
| with her children. | | | | “The more difficult the situation, the more we |
| ‘That is easier said than done,’ you might | | | | sought guidance in God’s Word—and it |
| be thinking. With many families needing two incomes to | | | | worked!” Can you make greater use of the |
| make ends meet, how can busy parents spend more | | | | Bible in teaching your children how to discern right from |
| time with their children? Torlief, whose son is now | | | | wrong? Be Reasonable |
| raising a family of his own, says that the key is | | | | The apostle Paul points to another important principle |
| following the advice found in Deuteronomy. Take your | | | | that is helpful in child rearing. He urged fellow Christians: |
| children with you wherever you go, and opportunities | | | | “Let your reasonableness become known to all |
| to talk will come up naturally. “My son and I | | | | men.” (Philippians 4:5) Surely that includes letting |
| worked together on household projects,” Torlief | | | | our children see our reasonableness. And remember, |
| relates. “We took trips together as a family. And | | | | reasonableness reflects “the wisdom from |
| we ate meals together.” As a result, he says, | | | | above.”—James 3:17. |
| “our son always felt that he could express | | | | How, though, does reasonableness relate to training |
| himself freely.” | | | | our children? While we give them all the help we can, |
| What, though, if communication breaks down and | | | | we do not control their every action. For example, |
| conversations become strained? This sometimes | | | | Mario, quoted earlier, is one of Jehovah’s |
| happens as the children get older. Once again, | | | | Witnesses, and he recalls: “We always held out |
| spending more time with them can help. | | | | baptism, the full-time ministry, and other spiritual goals to |
| Catherine’s husband, Ken, remembers that | | | | our children. But we made it clear that this was their |
| when their daughter became a teenager, she | | | | choice to make when the time came.” The |
| complained that he was not listening. That is a | | | | result? Both their children are now serving as full-time |
| common complaint from teens. What could he do? | | | | evangelizers. |
| Ken recalls: “I decided to spend more time with | | | | The Bible warns fathers at Colossians 3:21: “Do |
| her one-on-one, discussing her thoughts, feelings, and | | | | not be exasperating your children, so that they do not |
| frustrations. That really helped.” (Proverbs 20:5) | | | | become downhearted.” Catherine appreciates |
| Ken believes, however, that the reason this approach | | | | that verse. When a parent’s patience wears |
| worked is that communication in their home was not | | | | thin, it is easy to get angry or demanding. But, she |
| something new. “My daughter and I always had | | | | says, “don’t demand as much from your |
| a good relationship,” he says, “so she felt | | | | child as you expect of yourself.” Catherine too |
| that she could speak freely to me.” | | | | is one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and she adds: |
| Interestingly, one recent study reported that teens are | | | | “Make serving Jehovah enjoyable.” |
| three times more likely than their parents to say that | | | | Wise parents organize recreation for their children |
| parents and children do not spend enough time | | | | Jeff, mentioned earlier, makes this practical |
| together. So why not follow the Bible’s advice? | | | | observation: “As our children grew older, a good |
| Spend as much time as possible with your | | | | friend mentioned to us that he realized how often he |
| children—at rest and at work, at home and | | | | had to say no to his children’s requests. That |
| when traveling, in the morning when you get up and at | | | | frustrated them, leaving them feeling oppressed. To |
| night before you go to bed. If possible, take them with | | | | avoid this, he recommended that we look for ways to |
| you wherever you go. As Deuteronomy 6:7 implies, | | | | say yes. |
| there is no substitute for spending time with your | | | | “We found this to be good advice,” Jeff |
| children. Teach Them Proper Values | | | | says. “We then looked for opportunities for our |
| Mario, a father of two, similarly recommends: | | | | children to do things with others under circumstances |
| “Give children lots of love, and read to | | | | that we approved. So we would approach them and |
| them.” However, it is not just a matter of | | | | say: ‘Did you know that so-and-so is doing this |
| stimulating your children’s mental faculties. You | | | | or that? Why don’t you go too?’ Or if |
| need to teach them how to discern right from wrong. | | | | the kids asked us to take them somewhere, we |
| Mario adds: “Have a Bible study with | | | | pushed ourselves to go even if we were tired. We did |
| them.” | | | | it just to avoid saying no.” That is the very |
| To that end, the Bible admonishes parents: “Do | | | | essence of reasonableness—being fair, |
| not irritate your children, but bring them up tenderly with | | | | considerate, and yielding without compromising Bible |
| true Christian training and advice.” (Ephesians | | | | principles. Benefit From Reliable Advice |
| 6:4, Weymouth) Emphasis on moral instruction is | | | | Most of these couples are grandparents now. They |
| lacking in many homes today. Some believe that when | | | | enjoy seeing these same Bible principles help their |
| children get older, they will be able to decide for | | | | children succeed as parents. Can you benefit from the |
| themselves what values to accept. Does that make | | | | Bible’s advice? |
| sense to you? Just as young bodies need proper | | | | |