| Raising children in today's environment has become a | | | | Ownership is also another strong personality trait which |
| really difficult task. How many times have you heard | | | | can be encouraged at an early age when raising |
| your parents or your grandparents say "in my day..." | | | | children and goes hand in hand with responsibility. It is |
| But in their day it was OK to give your kids the strap. It | | | | the idea of saying, "Yes. I did that" or "It was my fault |
| was OK for teachers to dole out the cane and | | | | my homework didn't get done." |
| children lived in fear of what beating they were going | | | | Too many children (and adults for that matter) place |
| to get next. But times have changed and parents | | | | the blame for their actions, or non action, on someone |
| today are raising children through encouragement and | | | | else. "My homework didn't get done because my |
| reward, not fear and retribution. | | | | brother was on the computer last night." Taking |
| In saying that though, there is a fine line between | | | | ownership of the homework not being done would be |
| encouragement and reward, and just flat out spoiling | | | | realising that they had three other days to do it in |
| when raising children. Spoiling achieves nothing except | | | | which their brother was on the computer, or that they |
| children who expect the world for nothing. | | | | could of hand written it, or typed it up on the library |
| Encouragement and reward, when implemented | | | | computer or even used a friends computer. For the |
| correctly go a lot further towards raising balanced, well | | | | child to take ownership of their homework not being |
| adjusted children. | | | | done would be saying "I haven't done my homework |
| There are two key elements to well adjusted, | | | | and I'm sorry, I have no excuses." |
| confident children and they are responsibility and | | | | In today's society, when children have barriers thrown |
| ownership. It is vitally important that in raising children | | | | up in front of them, it is too easy for them to lay the |
| they learn to take responsibility for their negative | | | | blame elsewhere and to make up excuses which point |
| actions at an early age. They need to be encouraged | | | | every other direction but at themselves. They need to |
| to tell the truth and to then accept whatever | | | | be taught to think outside the square, to think of |
| consequences may apply. Rather than threatening | | | | alternative solutions, to negotiate around unforeseen |
| children to tell the truth, a good way to bring about the | | | | obstacles to create the outcome they are after. But |
| whole story in a particular situation, is to offer lesser | | | | they can't do this by themselves. They need to learn |
| consequences for the truth. For example: "If you tell | | | | from example and to be encouraged every step of |
| me exactly what happened we can decide together | | | | the way. |
| on what the consequences should be. But if I find out if | | | | I child today, who can display these qualities will be a |
| what you have told me is not correct then the | | | | happy, well adjusted child. They will be less likely to |
| consequences will be doubled". | | | | succumb to peer pressure, less likely to be prone to |
| Encourage the child to be truthful by listening and being | | | | tantrums, less likely to be bullied and far more likely to |
| non judgmental. As soon as a negative judgment is | | | | be happy, confident children with lots of friends. The |
| given for an action, the child will be less inclined to offer | | | | type of children that teachers love to teach and every |
| up the whole truth in the future. If a story can be | | | | other parent loves having over for a play date with |
| listened to in full, with no judgment offered, generally a | | | | their children. Raising children today is definitely a most |
| consequence can be established in conjunction with | | | | daunting task and the worst part is you won't find out |
| the child. This is one of the strongest ways to get | | | | how you went until they are adults. But I guess that's |
| children to start taking on responsibility for their actions. | | | | when you get to say "In my day... |