| Being a single parent involves many difficult challenges. | | | | Get to know your neighbors well before you allow |
| It's even harder than it looks. Single parents deal with | | | | your children to be alone with them. Remember that |
| challenges all day, every day. Many of those | | | | the world is a more dangerous place than it was when |
| challenges arise from being not only single but a parent. | | | | you were a child. There's no substitute for good |
| There are children to care for and take care of. And | | | | parental judgment. |
| because you are the only parent, everything you do | | | | Time is the enemy when you're a single parent. You |
| carries greater weight. | | | | probably have to work, and that means being outside |
| No matter what you do, as a single parent, you must | | | | the home a lot. Unless you have help, it also means |
| think of its effect on your children. You must be diligent | | | | your children may spend a lot of time at home alone. |
| in keeping up with their activities and their thoughts as | | | | You'll need to take extra precautions and lay out |
| they grow up in a single-parent home. In fact, the | | | | specific rules for time you're not there. |
| biggest challenge of being a single parent is the effect | | | | Children who are alone a lot are vulnerable to drugs |
| of your status on your children. | | | | and criminal behavior. Gang activities are sky-rocketing. |
| The transition to a single-parent family is difficult for | | | | You'll have to find a way to monitor your kids while |
| kids. They may feel abandoned or insecure. They may | | | | you're not home. This difficult challenge must be met |
| feel isolated and different from other kids, even if there | | | | head-on or your children may pay for it with their very |
| are more single-parent families than ever before. | | | | lives. |
| Your children may resent you for the loss of your | | | | You may have a challenge with your children's |
| spouse, or they may have unresolved issues with the | | | | attitudes about you as well. They may blame you for |
| missing parent. As a single parent, it's your job to keep | | | | their situation or think you're not doing things right. They |
| them talking about what's going on with them and | | | | may not show you the respect you want and expect. |
| what they think. Even though they may resist, you | | | | And they may feel cheated if you can't attend special |
| need to get them to talk to you about their worries, | | | | events like birthdays, PTA meetings, parent-teacher |
| their fears, and their anger. | | | | conferences, recitals, and other events that parents |
| And you need to let them know they're all right. | | | | usually attend. These time pressures are especially |
| They're normal kids despite their circumstances. They | | | | difficult for single parents. |
| aren't responsible for the change, and they don't have | | | | If you can't make the time to make at least some of |
| to make up for it. You should give them as normal a | | | | these events, it's time to have a talk with the boss. |
| childhood as possible and be a role model. Even when | | | | Maybe you can work out a special work schedule or |
| they don't act that way, they look to you as their | | | | do some of your work at home. If you can't find a |
| example of what a grown-up is and does. | | | | solution with your current job, you may need to look |
| Your kids need to know you're there for them, no | | | | for other more flexible working arrangements. If both |
| matter what. You have a busy schedule trying to earn | | | | are impossible, it's important that your children know |
| a living and manage the household. But you must | | | | and understand why you can't be with them. Be |
| never be too busy for your children. Even when you | | | | honest. They'll understand the truth better than no |
| are in financial trouble, the job can't take priority over | | | | explanation at all. |
| the kids. They need to know how important they are | | | | It's important to remember that you can't just give time |
| to you. They need to know you love them more than | | | | to your kids. It must be quality time that helps them |
| anything else. | | | | grow and mature. They need to know that you love |
| You're going to have to build a new relationship with | | | | them and that you need them. Never give them the |
| your children. As a single parent, you're the only source | | | | idea that they're a burden to you. Tell them often how |
| of affection and guidance in the home. Even if you | | | | much you love them. Listen to them. Ask them |
| weren't close before, you're going to have to get close | | | | questions and listen to their answers. Show your |
| now. One good way to do that is to do lots of fun | | | | interest in them as individuals. Even when time is limited, |
| family activities. | | | | you can make the time you spend with them special |
| Another way that will help the whole family is to assign | | | | and positive. It's worth the trouble. And your reward is |
| specific chores to your children that will help keep the | | | | the love and respect of well-behaved, responsible |
| household running efficiently. Giving them responsibility | | | | children. |
| will help them feel that they belong and that they are | | | | Even when life deals you and your children a bad |
| important. It will also give them a sense of | | | | hand, you can make life together enjoyable and |
| accomplishment necessary to build a healthy | | | | productive. You can build healthy relationships with your |
| self-image. | | | | kids and watch them become happy, productive |
| Single parents need to admit that they need help and | | | | young adults. |
| then get help. You can't do everything by yourself. | | | | Despite the many hard challenges of being a single |
| Trying to may ruin your health, your attitude, and your | | | | parent, you must always maintain your perspective |
| relationships with your children. Getting to know your | | | | and honor the most important priorities. It won't always |
| neighbors is a great way to find people who can help | | | | be hard or unpleasant. You'll have many happy times |
| you look after the kids when you must be away. | | | | and lots of love and laughter in your single-parent |
| Neighbors can also help with household repairs and | | | | family as long as you keep a healthy positive attitude |
| yard work. | | | | and keep on working toward a better life for you and |
| Your neighbors may also be adult companions and | | | | your children. |
| role models for your children, but you must be careful. | | | | |