Surviving Singleness

Perhaps you have been in an unsatisfying relationshipsettlement after divorce. Through all these processes
for a long time and it has taken you years to gatheryou can minimise your legal bill by being prepared, using
the courage and make the decision to leave yourmediation and minimising phone calls to your lawyer.
partner. Or, maybe separation has hit you like a ton of3. Custody and parenting issues can be complicated
bricks from nowhere. Whether it was planned or not,and emotional. Co-parenting is best for your children, so
now that you are single...what now?working together with your ex-partner on these issues
Living by yourself can be daunting, especially if youis the ideal. When it comes to talking about your
have lived in a relationship for a long time. If you are aex-partner in front of your children, the best thing to
mother with kids, parenting is now a full time job forremember is 'Say something nice, or do not say
you, with no-one to give you a break. With such biganything at all.' Speaking in a disrespectful way about
changes happening all around you, life can seem like itthe childrens father or mother is likely to confuse the
is out of control. There are a number of issues that ischildrens sense of loyalty and you may find behaviour
worth taking a look at, so grab a pen and jot downproblems may follow this sense of confusion.
your thoughts as you go through the following list:4. Depression is a very common issue in single people
as they struggle with issues of loneliness and rejection.
1. Have you got a budget? Write down your incomeSymptoms of depression can include broken sleep
and expenditure so you have an idea of how muchpatterns, feeling constantly sad or irritated, you may
you can afford on rent and other needs. You will needexperience changes in appetite, feel overwhelmed or
to investigate whether you are entitled to governmenthelpless or even feel like life is not worth living. It is
benefits. In Australia, if you are single you can get theimportant to seek help from your local doctor as soon
sole parents pension if your youngest child is 8 yearsas possible who will then refer you on and may
old or younger. If your youngest child is older than 8prescribe anti-depressants for you. In Australia, your
years, than you may only be entitled to the NewstartGP can fill out a mental health plan for you which
payment.entitles you to up to 12 visits per year to a qualified
2. The issues of divorce and separation are verycounsellor or psychotherapist.
much legal issues as well as financially and emotionalThroughout all of these challenges, be sure to reach
issues. In Australia, the only grounds for divorce areout for help. Do not isolate yourself; rather let your
irreconcilable differences, and the court sees a 12friends know if you are not doing so great or if you
month separation as proof of that. That means, youneed help. You may wish to join a local support group
must be separated for 12 months before you can filefor single people, or increase your circle of friends by
for divorce. However, you can work out settlementjoining a community group or church. The most
earlier if you wish. The only time restraint forimportant thing to remember is to look after you!
settlement is that you have 12 months to apply for