The Power Of Parental Love

The most important single ingredient in raising happychildren are fascinated by looking into the eyes of
and successful children is the amount of love theysomeone who is looking at them with warmth, love
receive from their parents. Children need love likeand affection. Try this with your children and you'll be
flowers need sunshine and rain.amazed at the impact that sustained, loving eye
You can never give a child too much love. Thecontact has when you give it to your children if they
continuous flow of love and approval from a parent tohaven't experienced it before.
a child is the child's psychological lifeline to emotional3. Physical contact is an important and powerful way
and physical health. Almost all problems with childrento tell your children that you love them. Hugging and
stem back to the child's perception of not being fullykissing your children is the most wonderful way to
loved and accepted by his or her parents.convey to them through touch that you love and value
Lack of love whether it's real or imagined by the childthem. Interestingly, studies have shown male and
can have serious consequences. It can lead tofemale infants are hugged about the same amount
physical, mental and emotional damage that can haveduring their first year, but after that females receive
long-term if not permanent negative consequences onmuch more hugging and kissing from parents than do
the entire life of the child. In fact most childboys.
psychologists and therapists agree that loveThe studies show just how harmful this is; boys who
deprivation is the most serious problem a child canreceive little or no physical contact from their parents
suffer during his or her formative years.are more much more likely to grow-up feeling insecure,
The starting point of raising happy and successfulunloved, lacking in self-confidence, and are much more
children is to give them a continuous unbroken flow ofprone to aggressive behavior. On the other hand, boys
unconditional love and acceptance. A parent needs towho do receive a lot of hugging and kissing from their
always make it clear to his or her child that nothing theparents are much more likely to grow-up feeling
child does could ever cause him or her to love the childstronger, more masculine and self-confident.
less than 100 percent.4. Focused attention is perhaps the most powerful
The most wonderful gift that a child can receive fromway to tell a child that you love him or her. Focused
a parent is the firm knowledge that the parent lovesattention is simply spending long stretches of unbroken
him or her totally no matter what he or she does andtime with your child. Children need an opportunity to talk
no matter what happens. This is why many childwith their parents, relate to them and just be with them
psychologists and therapists recommend that whenwhile they're growing-up. There is no better way to
you discipline your child always start off by telling thebuild a close and loving relationship with your child than
child how much you love him or her and then get intoto schedule long unbroken periods of time with your
the disciplinary action. You need to make it very clearchild during which you can just be together.
that you are unhappy with the child's behavior but notChildren need to communicate their thoughts and
with the child. It's important that the child understandsfeelings to someone who is important to them, and a
this completely.parent should be the most important person in their
Your child is always asking you in one way or another,lives. If their parents don't take the time to sit quietly
"Do you love me? Sometimes a child will misbehaveand patiently and listen the child will begin to spend
on purpose as a way of checking as to whether ormore and more time with his or her peer groups.
not you really love him or her. The older and moreThe greatest influence that a person can exert in a
mature children become the more subtle they areteenager's life is to be the primary source of love,
about how they ask the question, "Do you love me?"support, respect and affection for the child. Children
However, the question is always the same.who don't receive this love and support from their
There are four simple ways that parents canparents will tend to seek it elsewhere and the parent's
effectively make their love known to their children:influence will diminish dramatically
1. You have to tell your children that you love themPerhaps the most important and enduring relationship
every day. You can never say "I love you" to a childyou can ever enter into happens when you bring a
too often. Even if your child pretends that he or shechild into this world. The impact of your parenting not
doesn't need to hear it, don't believe it. Every time aonly affects your children, but it can also affect your
child hears the words, "I love you" from his or herchildren's children for generations. When you shower
parent the child feels more secure and free to beyour children with a constant and continuous flow of
himself or herself.love and affection you are having a positive influence
2. Tell your children you love them with eye contact.for generations to come.
Whenever you look at a child with loving eye contactCopyright©2007 by Joe Love and JLM &
you make the child feel wonderful about himself orAssociates, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide.
herself. Studies show that from the age of 6 weeks