Three Strategies For Managing Sports Parents

Coaching sports is one of the most rewarding "jobs" adiffuse any potential problems that might arise once
person will ever have. However, it isn't always fun andthe actual season begins. If all the parents know what
games. Sometimes it can be very difficult and eventhe season will be like and what they can expect for
border on being impossible. Usually the major cause oftheir child then a coach is much less likely to have
a coach becoming frustrated is one or more parentsproblems when the season begins.
of one or more players on the coach's team.At the actual meeting, a handout should be given to all
The majority of parents are great to work with. Theyparents. Then the handout should be reviewed during
appreciate the coach's efforts and they love the factthe meeting. Having a handout serves many purposes.
that their children are able to play an organized sport.However, there are two major reasons why it's
However, there are some parents who will make itabsolutely necessary to have a handout:
very difficult on the coach.1. The handout can be referred to if a problem should
Some parents give a coach major problems by doingarise later in the season.
one or more of the following:2. The handout can be given to any parent who
- Yelling at a child, the coach, or a referee/umpirewasn't at the meeting.
judge from the stands. Undermining what the coachIt can also be helpful to set up a team websitewhere
tells a player to do.parents, athletes, coaches and administrators can
- Shouting directions to players from the stands.access your handouts and other documents if they
- Openly criticizing coaching decisions.are not able to attend the meeting in person.
- Not bringing the child to practices or games on time.Strategy #3: Invite Parents to Participate
- Demanding more playing time for the child.Another great way to diffuse any potential problems
For these problems and for any other problem thatwith parents is to invite the parents to come to
arise, there are some very effective strategies thatpractice and participate. This may sound like a crazy
can be used. Here are three simple tips to helpidea. It may seem like the coach is inviting the fox into
coaches deal with a difficult parent.the chicken house. But that's not the case at all. If the
Strategy #1: Stay Positive at all Timesplayers are young then the help of parents should
With just about everything in life it helps to be positivealways be welcomed by coaches. The more adults
all the time. However, with coaching it's a necessity.that can help reinforce basic skills, the more beneficial
Now, this doesn't mean that you shouldn't lecture yourit'll be to the players. For older players, parents should
players. It also doesn't mean that you shouldn't be strictstill be invited to practice but they should only be
with your players. However, you do need to alwaysallowed to participate in specific practices.
put a positive spin on things. Make sure you makeSome coaches don't allow parents into "regular"
everything a learning experience and that the playerspractice and that's fine as well. However, all coaches
know that you are always teaching them. It'sshould allow parents to occasionally participate in
absolutely necessary for you to always stay positivepractice. Allowing parents into an occasional practice
when dealing with parents. Staying positive will givecan actually motivate the players to practice harder. It
you leverage when you deal with parents. It will alsocan serve as a nice change of pace when your team
help you show parents that you always have theirhas a few days off in between actual competition.
child's best interest at heart.More importantly, allowing parents into the occasional
Here's an example: A parent approaches a coach andpractice makes the parent feel like they're being
voices his dismay with the amount of playing time hisincluded on the team. It will also give the parent a
daughter gets on the basketball court. The coachchance to see your coaching style. Also, it will give you
thanks the parent for voicing the concern and tells hima chance to speak with the parent if you need to do
that it's always great to have parents involved andso. It's always better to have to deal with a parent
concerned about their children. (There are two positiveafter a practice then it is dealing with a parent during or
statements.)after a game.
The coach also explains that she has the players' bestFinally, inviting parents to practice may very well give
interest in mind with all her decisions and she truly triesyou a unique insight into how the parents and their
to do what's best for her players. (There's anotherchildren (your players) relate to one another. A coach
positive statement.) Then the coach explains thatof a varsity volleyball team invited parents in to play
playing time is based in large part by the amount ofagainst their children in a friendly game about a week
effort that's given during practice, and playing time isbefore the season started. One of the parents at the
also limited because there are 11 players for only 5practice kept yelling at his daughter every time she
spots on the floor. The coach finishes by explainingmade the least little mistake. The coach could see that
that if the daughter works a little harder in practicethe young girl was flustered. In fact, she began playing
then her playing time will probably increase.worse than the coach had ever seen. Since this girl
The parent now feels good about bringing up the issuewas the setter for the team, the coach immediately
to the coach (because the coach thanked him) and hesaw that this could be a huge problem during actual
feels better because the coach told him how muchgames.
she cares. What's more, the coach also told him that ifSo, he politely asked the father to stay after and have
his daughter works a little harder then she may geta talk with him. After a long talk with the father, the
more playing time. In the example, the parent wascoach got him to agree to not say anything negative
easily calmed down and didn't' pursue the issue further.during the game. Then when the games started, the
However, there will be some parents who will continuefather only cheered for the team and the daughter
to voice their objections. In these cases, additionalplayed very well. Inviting the parents to practice
strategies should be used.actually did two great things: It allowed the coach to
Strategy #2: Hold a Preseason Meetingstop a potential problem that would have hurt the team
The majority of problems between coach and parentsduring a game, and it also won over the father so that
occur because the parents have no idea about anyhe was willing to listen to the coach.
rules that might exist and the parents don't know whatOverall, communication is key. Be sure to have an
the overall goal of the season might be. To stop manyopen door policy with your team's parents. Make your
potential problems, all coaches should hold a preseasonself available by phone if they would like to discuss a
meeting for parents before the first practice is evenspecific issue with you.
held. Holding a preseason meeting always helps to