| 1. Do not speak badly about your child's other parent. | | | | has the better. |
| The idea of speaking badly of your child's other parent | | | | 5. Do not give messages, money or any other items to |
| will cause your child to become anxious and confused. | | | | your child or children to deliver to his/her other parent. |
| He or she needs to make their own decisions about | | | | I must stress to you that doing this makes a child the |
| the person their other parent is. Just because you may | | | | messenger and places he or she between his or her |
| have feelings of anger and resentments about your | | | | parents. In today's world of email, fax machines, text |
| relationship with the other parent, does not mean that | | | | messaging, electronic transfers and other forms of |
| the child does, or that the other parent is a bad parent. | | | | communication, there is no reason to burden your child. |
| 2. Do not block the access to the other parent. | | | | This also decreases the likelihood that the child will |
| I see this one all the time. You will not win any awards | | | | misplace or lose something and get the blame for it. |
| for intentionally blocking a parent and a child from | | | | 6. Do allow your child to call his/her other parent freely. |
| seeing one another. This behavior only breeds anger | | | | A general rule of thumb is to enable the child or |
| and sadness in a child and makes the other parent | | | | children to speak to their other parent freely. Allow |
| increasingly angry and possibly desperate. | | | | them to call as they wish. With that said, the times a |
| 3. Let the child take his/her personal belongings back | | | | child would like to call their other parent must be |
| and forth from home to home. | | | | reasonable. For example, your daughter asks to speak |
| Again, a very popular topic. I hear this dispute almost | | | | to her mother just as you are sitting down to dinner. It |
| daily. If a child has a game or toy that he or she loves, | | | | is perfectly fine to say that you would like to get |
| let the child travel between their homes with it. The | | | | through dinner first and then she can spend as much |
| issue parents bring up to me is that because they | | | | time as she would like on the phone with her mother. |
| purchased the product, it should stay within their home. | | | | Realize that most of your child's phone calls will not |
| The excuse is that they do not want it disappearing at | | | | take too long. |
| the other parents home. Do you think that the other | | | | 7. Do not make your child or children feel bad for |
| parent might play with it when the child is not there? | | | | enjoying their time with their other parent. |
| With that said, moving cumbersome belongings back | | | | I saved one of the best for the last. THIS IS NOT A |
| and forth is unreasonable. | | | | PARENTING COMPETITION! It is OK for a child to like |
| 4. Realize that your child or children do have two | | | | to spend time with their other parent. That should not |
| homes, not just one. | | | | translate into you are a bad parent. I am aware that |
| Enable your child to adjust to the fact that he or she | | | | often times there are a lot of guilty feelings as a |
| has two homes. This could be a helpful idea to stress | | | | couple goes through a separation. Remember that is |
| since most children live by the idea that the more one | | | | your issue to deal with, not your child's. |