| If you have addict children, the good news is, the | | | | allows you to go where they go and see everything |
| situation isn't hopeless. The bad news is, you're no | | | | they write or post in chatrooms and blogs. You should |
| longer in control and you're probably facing the hardest | | | | search them when they enter the house and question |
| problem you've ever faced. This article will give you | | | | them closely when they leave the house. |
| some tips on how to steer them in the right direction | | | | Of course, this will result in you being the worst person |
| without you getting run over. While recovery is always | | | | on the face of the planet...so be it. Always try the |
| the addicts choice, as parents, you can help lead them | | | | loving, supportive approach, first, offering to get them |
| to that choice. | | | | counseling or other help, but be ready for it to become |
| Understanding Addiction: It doesn't matter what | | | | tough love quickly after that. Confront them about |
| substance your child is addicted to, addiction is the | | | | everything. If they're addicted, it won't take long before |
| same. It usually begins in the teen years, because | | | | you're out of options. If you have a year or two until |
| that's when we're vulnerable to a negative self-image, | | | | they turn 18 and they refuse to quit, get the authorities |
| and when our peers would like to give us one. So, we | | | | involved. This isn't easy, but has a better chance for |
| try a little personality booster in the form of drugs or | | | | success than screaming or beatings. Contact the |
| alcohol. That takes our minds off self-image | | | | school counselor or Principle (if they haven't already |
| temporarily, but the fact we "need" something to feel | | | | contacted you) and ask for advice. Do the same with |
| normal only makes us feel worse, and need more the | | | | your police department's social services agency. Make |
| next time around. Unless they hit bottom and become | | | | sure the child knows why you're doing this. |
| willing to do what it takes to recover, this cycle drives | | | | Parents With Older Addicts: If you have an addict who |
| teens deeper and deeper into addiction. | | | | is over 18 living with you, things are a bit different. All of |
| Guilt And Codependency: As the parent, you probably | | | | the inspection and investigation stuff still applies. |
| didn't know until they were hooked. Then they blamed | | | | Obviously, restricting friends is out. Getting the police |
| you for "not caring." You blame yourself for not | | | | involved would be a very last resort, because now it's |
| knowing. Both your kids and you suspect that | | | | a matter of permanent criminal record. Still, if your older |
| something you did or didn't do is the reason they're | | | | child continues in an addiction while living under your |
| addicted. Let's start with you...GET OFF IT! You're | | | | roof, the whole family is at risk. You don't have the |
| doing the best you can and guilt is only going to make | | | | same control over the older child, but you have one big, |
| you less than your best. Let's move on to your | | | | all-powerful option you didn't have before...you can kick |
| addicted child. | | | | them out of the house. Does this sound unloving and |
| If an addict has his way, everyone around him will feel | | | | unsupportive? |
| responsible for his addiction and try to support the | | | | Think about it from another perspective. If you didn't |
| addiction out of guilt. Addicts lie and manipulate their | | | | evict a drug-addicted adult child and drugs were found |
| loved ones so they can continue and increase their | | | | in the home, you could be arrested, you could lose |
| addiction. If parents fall for this, it's the beginning of | | | | your job, your other children, your home...all because |
| codependency, where you become addicted to helping | | | | you wanted to seem supportive. Probably the biggest |
| your addict child. For your sake, the family's sake, and | | | | reason to kick the child out is...it's best for the child. |
| especially for the sake of the addict, you can't let this | | | | While you're providing food and shelter to addicts, they |
| happen. If it does, the whole family will go down the | | | | can use money for their addiction that would normally |
| drain as the addict uses each one of you until there is | | | | go for food, shelter and clothing. Letting them continue |
| nothing left. So, how do you stop it? | | | | to live there is as if you're supplying the drugs. The |
| Parents With Teenage Addicts: If the addict is still a | | | | loving thing to do is to put them out and let them fall on |
| minor teenager in your house, you have more control | | | | their faces in the gutter, if that's what it takes for them |
| over them. Until they just refuse to comply, you may | | | | to hit bottom and begin recovery. |
| be able to restrict friendships, unsupervised time and | | | | The preceding tips may seem hard or cruel, but the |
| time away from home. Even then, a lot can happen | | | | addiction is what's cruel. By being firm and practicing |
| when you're not looking. Any child addicted to drugs | | | | tough love, you have the best chance of saving the life |
| should not be allowed to have a cell phone, pager, car, | | | | of your child. A wise man once said, "Love is doing |
| allowance, or lunch money. All of these are vehicles to | | | | what will help a friend, even if it means you lose the |
| more drugs. You should regularly search their rooms, | | | | friendship." I know you love your child enough to do |
| clothes, other property, public areas in and around the | | | | what will help, even if it hurts you to do so. That's what |
| house for drugs, alcohol, drug equipment. If you allow | | | | being a parent is all about. |
| them a computer, you should invest in software that | | | | |