Toddler: Attention-Seeking Behaviors

Dealing with inappropriate or attention seeking- If they begin again, quickly turn your back again.
behaviors is a tough one, and it takes some time to When they stop again, hug them, hold both of their
master.  Young children don’t differentiatehands, pick them up, whatever you can do to get that
between negative attention and positive attention, ahormone flowing!  Repeat over and over how
concept that is extremely difficult for adults to grasp.you’re so proud of them for being so good/nice/big
 But, think of it on a primal or biological level.etc.  You want them to be satisfied by the positive
Children’s bodies produce human growth hormonereinforcement that was the result of positive behavior.
(HGH) when they receive attention.  It is overlyIt usually only takes a few times to completely
exciting to them to get attention and causes them toextinguish a behavior, even for children with disabilities,
be happy, healthy, and surprisingly, to grow.  Itlearning disorders and behavioral problems.
doesn’t matter if the attention is positive orThis is a two-pronged approach.  Remember,
negative, they need it to survive.you’re not teaching them that a specific behavior is
Pick a day that you will start and make sure that youwrong; you’re teaching them to seek out positive
have time to follow through for as long as it will take.attention instead of negative.  Spend about 10 minutes
 Remember that they are young and try to quicklydeliberately giving them positive attention, every hour.
redirect their attention if they start misbehaving.  If If you don’t plan it, it can easily be missed due to
they persist, then follow these steps.household and personal responsibilities.
Turn your back and make sure that you show noUse your time together to teach your child
emotion or reaction. Punishments, warnings, and evenresponsibility, too.  Utilize the good feelings that you
a glance can reinforce the attention-seeking behavior.create and have the child associate that feeling with
 Make sure that you don’t have your eyes on theaccomplishing tasks.  This will help to love learning,
child and that no part of you is touching them or evenwork to finish things and to want to succeed.  Have
aimed slightly towards them.  The first time you dothem organize toys in separate bins, hugging and
this, you will probably get quite a show!cheering every time a toy goes in.  Teach them
Make sure that your child stays safe.  The child willsomething that they can be proud of, like folding wash
have to test your boundaries to determine how big ofcloths or hanging shirts on baby hangers and infant
a commotion they will need to cause the next time tohangers.   Make sure that they can be successful,
get that growth hormone rush and satisfaction.  So,and if they’re not, praise them for trying.
be prepared to stick to your guns.  Don’t give in orOnce you have a system for dealing with negative
you just taught them that they need to go tobehaviors and your child associates attention with
extremes to get your attention.positive ones, parenting will be a lot more fulfilling and a
As soon as they stop, even if it’s for a second,positive experience for you and your child.
turn around and praise them for stopping the behavior.