| 1. Advocate for your child. This means you need to | | | | up with ADHD and spirited kids. You need to become |
| "spin" your child's behavior to friends, family and | | | | your own energy source. Feed your own passions. If |
| teachers. Has your child's antics been any worse than | | | | you are married, work to increase your intimacy with |
| our leading politicians? Probably not. Imagine the | | | | your partner. If you are single, keep your own love life |
| spinmeisters on talk shows who try to get their | | | | alive. |
| politicians elected. Do the same for your child. | | | | 8. Honor the kernel of self-reliance in all acts of |
| 2. Coach your child to name and feel ok with all their | | | | defiance. Every time your child doesn't do what you |
| emotions. Kids act bad when they are mad, sad or | | | | asked them to do, ask them for an explanation. Honor |
| "scared". When you coach your child to tell you what | | | | their independent thinking and consider what part of it |
| she feels, her bad behavior will heal. | | | | you may want to incorporate into your discipline. |
| 3. Look inside yourself. Sometimes kids act out | | | | Continue to insist that your child respect your rules |
| unexpressed conflicts of their parents. Are you | | | | while demonstrating respect for their own rhythm and |
| struggling with depression, anxiety, rage? Get help for | | | | logic. |
| yourself and your kids will shape up. | | | | 9. Practice preventative medicine. Many times children's |
| 4. Think of yourself as a coach. Your job is to coach | | | | bad behavior is a misguided attempt to get some |
| your child to success in social, emotional and | | | | precious attention. Fuel your child up with the highest |
| educational settings. Sometimes the answer is practice, | | | | octane energy you can early in the day. Spend a few |
| practice, practice. Don't get discouraged if you have to | | | | minutes being entirely present with your child. Look |
| repeat yourself over and over again. | | | | them in the eyes, touch them lovingly and listen closely |
| 5. Ask yourself: "If my child's most frustrating behavior | | | | to your child. This intense presence will give them what |
| was meant to teach me something, what would it be?" | | | | they need and head off desperate pleas for attention. |
| Many parents find themselves half distressed and half | | | | Sometimes just a few minutes will prevent large |
| impressed at their child's indifference to people | | | | energy draining hassles. |
| pleasing. Sometimes this is just the lesson parents | | | | 10. Connect with your child's teacher. Research has |
| need to learn in their own lives -- many parents have | | | | shown over many decades that your child's |
| become imbalanced in attending too much to seeking | | | | educational outcomes are very closely linked with how |
| approval from others. | | | | much the teacher likes your child and how much they |
| 6. Forget about the competition. Your child can still | | | | expect from your child. This is why you need to |
| strive to be outstanding without it being about | | | | advocate for your child at the same time as you |
| comparisons to other children. ADHD and spirited | | | | connect with your child's teacher. Show enormous |
| children are sensitive to tension produced by parents' | | | | respect for your child's teachers and try to forge a |
| competitiveness and the fear based motivation inhibits | | | | close alliance with him or her. They will go the extra |
| them. | | | | mile for your child. |
| 7. Keep Yourself Alive! It takes a lot of energy to keep | | | | |