| Raising defiant children can be a very difficult task. It | | | | Give 2 choices |
| can feel especially difficult when there is so much | | | | I want to finally demystify this whole idea of giving |
| conflicting information out there when it comes to | | | | choices to your child/teen. Too many choices and your |
| parenting. The aim of this article is to help give parents | | | | child will become overwhelmed by having to pick. Not |
| some ideas on what your can do to turn things around | | | | enough choices and your child/teen will feel like he or |
| in your home. The suggestions made in this article are | | | | she has "no say at all", and the child will rebel. So what |
| ideas on what you can do to turn around your child's | | | | is the solution? Give twochoices that you are perfectly |
| behavior starting tonight! | | | | okay with no matter what he or she picks. Do your |
| Use less words (or none at all) | | | | best to pick two choices that will balance what he/she |
| It may sound strange, but when you child is resisting | | | | is allowed to do with what the child would enjoy doing. |
| following directions, refusing to do what you say, or | | | | Give a warning before next routine/activity |
| having a meltdown it is best to use less words or | | | | Too often parents are not aware of transition times, |
| remain completely silent. In fact, your child is not | | | | and they expect their child/teen to move on a |
| responding to "what" you say, he or she is responding | | | | "moments notice". The most effective way to handle |
| to "how" you say "it. So, the next time your 3-12 year | | | | these transition times is by using the 10 minute, 5 |
| old is resisting remain calm, completely silence, move | | | | minute, 1 minute, then GO system. This method simply |
| closer to you child (within a few inches), and repeat the | | | | is done by giving a child a warning before it's time to |
| directions calmly. | | | | switch to something new. |
| Tell instead of ask | | | | Follow Through |
| Many times, parents are not aware that they are | | | | If you have made 3 attempts and your child will not |
| asking their children/teens to do something, when they | | | | move, move them gently to get them started, then |
| are really attempting to tell them what to do. It is | | | | give the child space to continue the task. If your child |
| usually disguised by the misuse of your tone of voice | | | | talks back while he or she does the task, simply ignore |
| (specifically, by putting it in a question form, instead of a | | | | any talking back! |
| command form). It is important to have a neutral tone | | | | In conclusion, start by using these techniques in your |
| of voice because it shows your child that you are | | | | home tonight. You will see the defiance in your home |
| standing your ground. Also, it is important that you | | | | reduce immediately. |
| direct your child on "what" to do and "how" to do "it". | | | | |